Never Wake
by Liv-x-Case-Benson
Summary: In life, chances are given. Love is a chance. The same goes for a second chance at a first love. Sara Willows knows how unpredictable love and life go hand in hand. Being without the one she loved most in the world wasn't ever in her mind, much less raising their family without her, but maybe, just maybe, it's time to be happy again. Eventual S/inn. [co-writer: dcmasters] T-M
1. Hard Hit

Never Wake

by: Liv-x-Case-Benson &amp; dcmasters

**Ch. 1: Hard Hit**

A wide, permanent smile seemed to be glued on the brunette's face. The day had finally arrived.

They'd spent many years going back and forth flirting. A shy smile, the turn of their heads. But it still took years for them to admit anything. Well, years and a night of drinking. It wasn't different from any other night, until the brunette had found herself feeling jealous of the guys at the bar trying, in vain, to get the redhead's attention. Not that she had taken the offers.

A year after that night, under the light of a sparkling sky and full moon, the redhead, unexpectedly, dropped to one knee with her nerves on the outside. Sara, after crying for a couple minutes because she really hadn't seen this coming, – they had barely discussed anything, so Sara assumed it was still about another year away – excitedly accepted.

Now, eight months later to the day, she stood in the church. Her dress was pure white, sleeveless, and dipped just the right way, the veil over her face, not making it difficult to see, but her vision was a little impeded.

"You look beautiful," came a soft whisper from the redhead who wore the widest smile as she took Sara's hands in her own, thumbs softly brushing the backs.

Sara grinned. "You look gorgeous."

Catherine looked deeply into Sara's eyes as the ceremony began. She was so incredibly happy. Never before has a relationship seemed so right, so perfect. Sara made her feel like she was the only person in the world that mattered, and when the brunette had accepted the proposal that some may have considered too soon, from that moment on she'd felt like the luckiest woman in the world.

Soon their rings were exchanged and vows were said, but just as their lips were a second away, Sara woke up.

* * *

Sitting up, she wiped her eyes. It was always the same dream. Catherine had been gone for almost ten years now and she felt it every day. Especially on their anniversary.

Soon, she heard little knocks coming from the other side of the bedroom door. Sara sighed, turning on the lamp. It was their twins. They were born three years before Catherine had been tragically hit by an oncoming car in the dead of night, Mason and Madison, but, being so young, they didn't remember much. They only knew that Mama wasn't coming back. "Come in."

The twins rushed in and moved onto the bed as they both hugged Sara. They'd heard her crying. "It's ok Mom," Madison whispered.

Sara smiled softly, ruffling their heads, hugging them tightly. They were seven now. Madison looked just like Sara, while Mason looked like Catherine, right down to his hair.

"I know we didn't have much time, but we miss her too," Mason said softly.

"What do you remember?"

"Her perfume. She always smelt of roses."

She smiled widely. "Anything else?"

"She always hummed when she cooked," Madison replied.

Sara nodded. "And she always cooked at night. We'd come home, send grandma home, and she would always insist on hugging you two and Lindsay before bed."

"Mama always said she loved us. And I remember she told you she loved you before she left the house, even if she was just washing the car," Mason giggled.

"Exactly..." she sighed. "You know, I think we should get some sleep, okay guys?" Sara said. She wasn't able to hold things back for their benefit anymore. It was just too painful.

They nodded before Mason shot his twin a worried look. "We weren't going to say anything..."

Sara shook her head. "Say what?"

"Lindsay's gone out again," Madison offered.

Catherine's death had hit the young girl hard. If losing one parent wasn't enough for the poor kid to cope with, she had to lose both. Her teenage years had been a struggle for the whole family. She'd stay out late, skip school and often disappear in the small hours. To where, God only knew.

Sara sighed. "Well, I'm not leaving you two here alone," she said, calling Lily to come over as she dressed.

Lily arrived within fifteen minutes. She had become somewhat accustomed to calls in the middle of the night asking her to come over. Using her key, she gained access and when she found Sara she pulled her into a tight hug. "Go, we'll be ok here."

Sara nodded. "I wish she'd quit doing this and just talk to me," she said, zipping up her jacket.

"We all do. But she'll be seventeen soon, it's a difficult age, and, well, she only ever confided in her mother."

Sara sighed. "Luckily, she always goes to the park," she said, leaving the house and driving a few blocks until she saw Lindsay sitting on a bench. Sighing, she killed the engine, pulling the keys and getting out, walking up slowly.

It was the same bench Catherine always insisted they sat on. The one under the big oak tree which provided just enough shade, but equally enough sunlight on a summer day. Tears glistened on Lindsay's cheeks under the soft lamplight that lit the park, her voice a whisper, "You always knew what to do, Mom. I wish you were here. I don't know what to do."

Sara sat on the other end silently. "You could try to talk to me. Linds, I know I'm not her and I never will be, but I've always loved you like you were ours. Honey, you know she would want you to talk to me."

"You'd be disappointed," Lindsay offered, brushing the tears from her cheek as she gave a sniff.

"Honey, nothing you could ever do could disappoint me. Please tell me," she asked, offering her hand in support.

Lindsay's glanced sideways at the hand before taking it. "Mom would say... it's ok, Linds, we'll figure it out... I never understood why she always thought I could do no wrong. Why nothing I ever did was a big deal."

"Because, compared to the job, you were her reason for getting up and fighting. You're her little girl, even now. She still loves you," Sara said, scooting closer. "And I love you too."

The tears which had ceased now returned and coursed quickly down the young girl's cheeks. Quickly, her head found Sara's shoulder and, for the first time, she clung tightly to the brunette.

Sara held her tightly, kissing her head and stroking her hair. "I'm still here, kid. I'm not going away and we all love you."

"I..." Lindsay managed as she felt a hard lump for in her throat. She attempted to swallow it several times, managing to find her voice a couple of minutes later. "I'm pregnant," she whispered softly, her cries evolving to loud sobs.

Sara pulled the teen into her lap, holding her tightly. "Shhh... It's going to be okay. We'll figure it out," she said as the shock wore off, kissing her head.

Lindsay gave a soft laugh, wiping her tears. "You sounded just like Mom."

Sara smiled. "Well, maybe it's because I am one. Do you know who the father is?"

Lindsay shook her head. "Please don't hate me," she whispered.

"Honey, nothing you could ever do would make me hate you. When did it happen?"

"It wasn't just the once."

"Then how can you not-unless... Sweetie, were you...raped?" she asked gently.

Lindsay buried her head against Sara's shoulder. "I don't remember."

"Were you drunk? At a party?"

"Both. I don't want to talk anymore."

Sara nodded. "Ok. But will you do something for me?"

"What?" Lindsay asked, looking up at her.

Sara bit her lip. "Come with me to get checked over for disease and infections? Honey, I-I get you don't want to talk about it anymore and, okay that's fine, but I just want to make sure you're still healthy. Then, whenever you want, we can talk more about what you want to do."

"I already got tested," Lindsay confessed. "But I will let you take me to the doctor. I need something a little better than blue lines on a few plastic sticks."

"That's good thing, sweetie, that you went without my asking. How about I keep you from school tomorrow and we'll go see a doctor after I drop the twins at grandma's?"

Lindsay nodded as a bright beam of light shone down, a helicopter circling the park.

Seconds later, Nick approached. "You two ok?"

Sara held her tight. "We're fine. What's with the search and rescue? I didn't call you."

Nick laughed. "DB on the west side of the park. We're just being thorough."

Sara sighed. "Well, if I had my kit, I might join in."

Lindsay pulled back from Sara, looking between them for a moment. "I wanna see," she said, "the scene, I mean."

Sara smiled. "Hang on, I'll be right back," she said, going to her car and grabbing the vests. _Plural_. She walked back over after pulling hers on. "Here, I was keeping this for sentimental value, but I think she'd want you to have it," she said, handing her Catherine's vest.

Lindsay ran her hands over the name tag. "Thanks," she smiled, carefully putting it on. It was the first time she'd shown an interest in anything for years.

Sara smiled, wrapping an arm around her. "Maybe we can have your name sewn in underneath, huh?"

"I like it the way it is," Lindsay smiled, leaning into her.

Sara nodded. "Okay, do we have any signs to go by?"

"Shot. Through and through," Nick said, "No immediate sign of any weapon. Now, Lindsay, I know you've never attended a scene before, so anything you're not sure about ask myself or Sara."

Sara nodded, handing her an extra flashlight. "Be careful where you step. Evidence could be anywhere. If there's anything you think we need, tell us, ok? What are we looking for then?"

Lindsay nodded, looking around slowly.

"Footprint. The usual," he replied, taking Sara aside. "Is she ok?"

Sara shook her head. "Not now, ok?"

"She told you?" he asked, kneeling down to the body to collect some evidence.

"Wait...how did you know?"

"She came to the lab after. Wanted to report it. I'm sorry, I swore I wouldn't tell you. She didn't want you to worry."

Sara nodded. "It's alright. At least she didn't just let it go. But now...she might have more than she could ever want."

"Ah... well, for tonight, we should make her focus on the case."

"I agree," she said.

"Hey, Sara..." Lindsay called.

Sara walked closer. "Yeah?"

"Bullet," she indicated, shining her flashlight at the ground.

"Nice spot. Nick?"

"Yeah?" he asked, joining them.

"Bullet. I don't have anything else on me."

He nodded, picking it up with his tweezers and placing it in an evidence bag. "Good spot. We'll stay a while longer then head back to the lab."

Sara nodded, stepping back to tell Lily what was going on.

* * *

When they arrived at the lab, Lindsay looked around. It was so different to how she'd seen it last time. The young girl automatically walked toward her mother's office before stopping.

Sara smiled. "What is it?"

"Is it still... her office?"

"Technically, yes and mine. It's mine now. I gave up my office and moved in after..." she sighed. "You can go sit in there if you want. It should be open."

"It's ok, I get it. You wanted to feel closer to her."

"Yeah, but I didn't change much. All her things are still there, just in a little different spot. It really has been a long time since you've been here."

"Show it to me."

Sara nodded, hanging up her jacket before leading her down the hall. It was always a little errie because she always expected Cath to be in before her or not have gone home. She did it so often before the twins were born...

Lindsay smiled when she saw the pictures of all five of them on the shelf. "She loved that one at the park."

Sara smiled, sitting behind the desk. "She did."

"It's your ten year wedding anniversary tomorrow, right?" she asked suddenly.

She nodded. "Yes, why?"

"I remember it like it was yesterday," Lindsay smiled, staring at a picture of her mother.

"I always end up dreaming of it the day before. Right before we kiss, I wake up," Sara said, sighing.

Lindsay turned and approached Sara, leaning against the desk. "I..."

"Yeah?"

"Mom would want you to smile. That's all."

"I know, but it's kind of hard anymore."

Lindsay nodded. "I understand. I do. But I need you, and the twins need you. We need you to smile."

Sara smiled, hugging her tightly. "I know, but even after ten years, it still feels fresh."

"I'm sorry I've been so horrible."

"It's not all your fault. Teen years are supposed to be crazy."

Lindsay gave a small smile. "I love you too, by the way."

"I love you too. So, should we go analyze?"

Lindsay nodded, but returned to the office a couple of hours later, curling up on the small couch, clinging to a picture of Catherine as she fell asleep.

Sara smiled upon finding her after she was finished, shaking her shoulder gently. "Let's go home."

Lindsay gave a soft yawn, as she sat up, then stood to place the picture back on the shelf before tucking something into her pocket. "What time is it?"

"2:45."

"Can I stay in with you tonight?"

Sara nodded, leading her out to the car. "Absolutely."

* * *

When they arrived home, Lindsay went to change as Lily approached Sara. "How is she?"

"Ok, for the most part I guess," she said.

"I trust you. I'll get out of your hair," Lily smiled.

"Wait," Sara said.

Lily turned back. "Yes?"

Sara bit her lip. "I'm taking Lindsay to the doctor tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes."

Lily smiled with appreciation. "I'd like that. Goodnight, Sara."

"Goodnight," she said, walking back to the twins' room, kissing their heads before going into the bedroom.

Lindsay was already curled up on her mother's side, hugging the pillow tightly.

Sara walked into the bathroom to change, then laid down. "Hey..."

Lindsay rolled to face her. "Hi," she smiled. "You meant it before when you said everything was going to be ok, right?"

Sara nodded, hugging her. "Yes sweetie. We'll figure it out."

Lindsay smiled, nodding. "We should sleep."

"I love you."

"Love you too," she whispered sleepily, "Night... Mom."

"Night honey," Sara said, falling asleep.

Lindsay fell into the most peaceful sleep she'd had in years.

* * *

**Author's Note: Okay guys, new pairing...eventually. Tell me what you think!**


	2. Gifts and Pain

Never Wake

by: Liv-x-Case-Benson &amp; dcmasters

**Ch. 2: Gifts and Pain**

The following morning there was a loud knock in the front door and the young girl rose from bed to answer it, signing for a package then shutting the door.

Sara was up a few minutes later, yawning. "Who was it?"

"Package delivery for you," Lindsay shrugged.

Sara took it cautioudly. It was light. No ticking, but she didn't remember ordering anything. "Hmm." She sat on the couch with it, opening it.

Lindsay sat beside her, watching curiously. Inside was a smaller box and a card.

Sara opened the card, setting the small box in her lap, the larger on the coffee table.

The card was handwritten in her _wife's_ writing. A pre-planned surprise intended to precede an evening dedicated to both of them that sadly they wouldn't share. Inside it read: _Wow, ten years, huh? You will always be my one true love. Thank you for being an amazing wife and mother to our children. I love you so much! Forever and always, Cath xxx._

Sara sat staring at the card, tears running down her face. "I...it...she...she pre-planned... Oh my god..."

"What?" Lindsay asked moving closer to look at the card before wrapping her arms tightly around Sara. "It's ok..."

Sara leaned into her, showing her the card.

"You should open your gift," Lindsay whispered.

Sara nodded, wiping her eyes as she opened the box.

The box contained a simple, channel set platinum eternity ring. The ring was set with three quarter carat diamonds, but between each was each of their birthstones, the twins either side, the other three spread between them. A simple inscription in the band read: _Forever and Always xxx_.

Sara smiled, slipping it on ahead of her wedding band. "Wow, I can't believe she did this," she whispered.

"That was Mom. Full of surprises, prepared but usually late," Lindsay said with a soft laugh.

She nodded. "Yeah, well, how about breakfast?" Sara asked.

"I'll get it," Lindsay said, handing Sara a photo of Catherine, as she stood, "You spend some time with Mom."

Sara nodded, tracing the side of Catherine's face on the photo. It never felt real until a special occassion, like a birthday or holiday. Yes, pictures of Catherine were on the walls, but some days...it didn't feel real. But then, others, it felt like she was ripping in two.

* * *

They'd been at a 419 on the side of the road, bullet through the back of the driver's skull, exiting through the windshield.

_"Hmm, just the one," Sara had said. "He has his wallet, a nice Rollex and wedding ring, so it wasn't a robbery..."_

_"Mob hit?" Catherine asked with an inquisitive look from the other side of the vehicle. _

_"Okay, but wouldn't they leave some sort of marker?"_

_"Maybe," Catherine replied, then smiled, "Oh, I forgot to tell you..."_

_Sara looked up. "What?"_

_"Mason read me most of our favorite story before work when I was putting him to bed."_

_"Awww! Really?" she smiled. "He's getting really good with his words."_

_"I know, I was so proud. At the end he even said night Mama, you smell like flowers, love you lots. "_

_"Aww!"_

_Catherine grinned, going to process the boot. Half an hour later, she looked up. "Hey Sara.. "_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Love you," she said softly, moving over to the brunette. _

_Sara smiled, hugging her tightly. "Love you too."_

_Unsually, given that they were at a crime scene, Catherine pulled back to kiss Sara deeply for a couple of seconds. _

_"Mmm, you ok? You're not usually this affetionate on scene."_

_"I'm fine," Catherine smiled, caressing Sara's cheek, "I'm just going to go over to the car and get some more adhesive tape for some fibers in the back."_

Sara sighed. Now, she wished she hadn't let go of Catherine. The car sped past. Sara managed to pull Catherine out of it's direct path, but a front wheel and back wheel still ran over her head from the sheer speed. It was like the driver hadn't even seen them. She called for a bus. The shock hadn't set in until she was waking up Lindsay.

_"Lindsay!" she said, banging on her bedroom door. "Open up! It's an emergency!"_

_"Where's the fire?" Lindsay asked, sleepily opening the door._

_Sara pulled her tightly to her. "You've got to get dressed and come with me right now... There-there was an accident and, uh, your mom's in a coma, honey," she whispered, ignoring the searing pain in every part of her body. She'd been advised to stay for her own injuries, but had insisted that she needed to go get Lindsay as Catherine wasn't looking well._

_"W-What sort of accident?" Lindsay asked, quickly going to dress, leaving Sara in the doorway. _

_"Head-on collision. I...tried to pull her out of the way but..."_

_"But she'll be ok, right?" the young girl asked as she finished dressing, quickly pulling her hair up. _

_Sara sighed. "Th-they don't know."_

_Lindsay's face paled a little as she took Sara's hand. "Let's go then."_

_Sara nodded, letting the neighbor in to watch the twins as Lily would meet them. "I'm pretty banged up too, but I said I needed to come get you," she said, getting in the driver's seat._

_"So you'll have to go a while when we get there?"_

_"No. They made sure nothing was broken or bleeding profusely. I'll stay with you."_

_"Good," Lindsay replied, her voice shaky. _

_Sara held her hand tightly._

_Lindsay's grip tightened as they walked into the hospital, leaning into Sara a little._

_The brunette wrapped an arm around her as they made their way to the elevator, ignoring the stares at her bloodied, beaten appearance._

_A nurse greeted them as soon as they walked into ICU, showing them to Catherine's room._

_Lindsay stopped, taking a deep breath outside the door. _

_Sara kissed her head. "You don't have to go in with me if you don't want to."_

_"I want to," Lindsay replied, straightening up a little. "Ok. I'm ready now."_

_She nodded, leading her inside. Luckliy, most of Catherine's face was covered in bandages so she didn't look physically traumatizing. Sara sighed sitting in the chair by the bed. Phyically, Catherine was breathing on her own, but it was more of an automatic response. The doctors had already told her that Catherine's brain didn't show enough activity to wake up._

_Lindsay stood touching Catherine's arm cautiously, then took her hand. "Mom... it's ok. Sara and I are going to stay until you're better."_

_Sara sighed. She hated bursting the bubble, but... "Linds..."_

_"Yeah?" Lindsay asked softly, turning her head. _

_"Her breathing is triggered by her brain, but, the doctor said that no other signs say she'll wake up. I'm sorry. I know you want to be positive, but there isn't one."_

_Lindsay took a moment to process the information as tears surfaced in her eyes. "But... s-she has to... she can't..."_

_Sara nodded, standing up and hugging her. "I know, I know. And I do like the positive side, but I didn't want to lie to you. I'm so sorry."_

_"Don't," Lindsay said, shrugging her off._

_Sara nodded, pulling away. "I didn't do this," she whispered, sitting back beside her._

_"I never said you did. I just don't need you to hug me. I'm not a kid."_

_"Ok."_

_Lily knocked on the door seconds later. "I got here as soon as I could."_

_Sara looked over, unable to say anything._

_Lily walked in, wrapping an arm around her. "I spoke to the doctors, you don't have to say anything," she whispered._

_Sara nodded, leaning into her. "I-I tried..."_

_"I know you'd have done everything you could. I'll be here for all of you always ok?"_

_"Ok."_

_"Sara, did she say anything?" Lindsay asked quietly. _

_"J-just that she loved us. Wanted me to take care of you guys."_

_Lindsay nodded, walking outside to sit down, head in her hands. _

_"I would go after her, but she needs a little time," Sara said._

_"I know it's hard on all of you but... it must be hard to lose both your parents. Yes, you'll always be her parent too, but biologically..."_

_"I know. I get it, And I think it's smart to expect her going off the handle now. She is almost thirteen."_

_Lily nodded. "She looks peaceful."_

_Sara nodded. "She does. No pain and, right now, that's probably a saving grace."_

_"I can leave you two a minute and check on Lindsay if you'd like?"_

_"Sure. Cath's not going anywhere."_

_Lily walked out, standing beside her._

_Lindsay sobbed quietly. "Not Mom, Grandma... she can't leave me. She promised..."_

_Lily sat beside her. "Every parent promises that. But not everyone can make good on them. The pain is unbearable, but you still have people who love you and need you. And you won't make it through this without them. Honey, car accidents happen every day and some people have no one to hug and cry to if they need it. And while it doesn't feel like much now," she said, wrapping her arms around her, "we all love you." On the inside, she was a complete mess, but she would show that a little later._

_Lindsay curled into her Grandma's side, crying softly. "H-how long?"_

_"H-how long what?"_

_"Do we have until they turn off the machine?"_

_She shook her head. "Sara has the okay on that."_

_Lindsay swallowed hard, taking a deep breath. "Have you got any money?"_

_Lily nodded. "Yes, why?"_

_"I want to go to the shop downstairs. I won't be long."_

_Lily nodded, handing her a couple 20s. "This enough?"_

_Lindsay nodded. "Thanks," she said, going to the elevator._

_Lily stood, walking back into the room._

_"How is she?" Sara asked._

_"Asked for some money to go the shop. She cried a bit. We talked."_

_"That's good. She needed to."_

_"How are you holding up?"_

_The brunette siighed. "I don't know."_

_"I saw Nick on the way. He said they'd processed her whilst you were gone. They're coming back a little later."_

_Sara nodded._

_"Can I do or get you anything?"_

_"Will you sit by me?"_

_"Of course," Lily nodded, pulling a chair beside Sara's, sitting down, "I can move in with you guys for as long as you need."_

_Sara leaned against her. "Yeah, that would be nice. I think I'll have trouble at first. They look so much like her."_

_"Yeah, they do," she smiled. "At least you'll always have part of her with you."_

_"And Lindsay."_

_"She thought the world of you."_

_Sara smiled. "She must've."_

_Lindsay walked in slowly with a bag from the shop, placing it on the table, handing Sara a hair brush. "Come on. Her hair's a mess and you know she wouldn't like that."_

_Sara nodded, standing up to fix Catherine's hair._

_Lindsay took out a bottle of Catherine's favorite shade of nail polish, pulling back the sheets, beginning to paint her toes, taking her time. _

_Sara smiled. "Looks good."_

_"Thanks. I got you a sandwich. Mom would want you to eat something."_

_Sara nodded, taking a bite as she sat down._

_Lindsay moved to paint the redheads fingernails. "She still smells of flowers."_

_"Yeah she does."_

_Lindsay had decided in the shop she needed to be strong for Sara no matter how much it hurt her. "I... I'm ready, whenever you want to... say goodbye."_

_"Okay..."_

_Lindsay recapped the nail polish, then moved to hug Sara._

_Sara nodded, moving to slip Catherine's wedding ring from her finger and putting it beside her own on her chain before hugging Lindsay again._

_"I can help with the twins. We'll be ok," Lindsay whispered._

_She sighed. "Yeah..."_

* * *

**Reviews: helly1bradleywyatt**


	3. Pictures

Never Wake

by: Liv-x-Case-Benson &amp; dcmasters

**Ch. 3: Pictures**

The next thing she knew, Lindsay placed a plate of breakfast in her lap.

Lindsay took the photo, placing it beside her. "Mind if I go out a while? I've dressed the twins."

"Where to?"

"The lab. I left my phone there."

"I'll go after I eat, ok?"

"I want to go on my own. Then I'll make that appointment on the way back. Don't worry, I'll get a cab."

Sara nodded. "Be careful."

Lindsay kissed Sara's cheek. "See you soon, Mom," she offered, walking from the room.

Sara nodded, eating her breakfast and watching for the twins.

They ran downstairs ten minutes later, Mason just beating his sister into the room. "I won!" he grinned.

"Nah uh! You pushed me!" she protested.

"Guys! Guys! What's going on?"

"We raced downstairs. He says he won, but he pushed me!"

Sara walked over. "Back upstairs and try it again."

"No! He'll cheat again," she said, hugging Sara tightly.

"All right. What do you guys want to do?"

"Cuddles," she replied.

"I want to go outside," Mason replied. Though they were twins, there were times when they were the total opposite of each other.

Sara smiled, picking up Madison. "Should we go outside?"

Madison nodded as Mason raced ahead. When he made it outside, he went behind the big oak tree at the end of the garden.

Sara smiled. "What are you doing?"

"...nothing."

"Mason..."

"What?" he asked, walking out.

"What's behind there?"

"Nothing," he shrugged. Nothing she could see anyway.

Sara walked over.

"See," he said. There was nothing physically obvious, except some marks in the tree making a square.

"What's that for?" she asked, pointing to the square.

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"It's a secret."

She smiled. "Ok, so is there something you want to do?"

"Stay here with the square."

"But why?" she asked, sitting Madison on the ground, kneeling beside him. "Is it for Mama?"

He gave a slow nod. "Mama said I couldn't tell because you like trees."

Sara rested a hand on his shoulder. "Did you make that with her?"

"Yes, but it's not just a square."

"Then what is it?"

He grabbed a nearby twig and put it the gap, forcing the square out. Inside was a deep hole in the trunk, filled with all Mason and Catherine's favorite things, including several of items of Catherine's that had disappeared over the years, including a photo of her and Mason, a necklace and their favorite storybook.

Sara kissed his cheek. "If you want to keep this stuff here you can, but when it gets cold out a few things might not last."

Mason nodded, holding Sara tightly.

Sara hugged him. "How about, when Lindsay gets back, we'll go out and get a sturdy metal box you can put all those on and then put it back inside the tree. They'll last longer."

"Ok," he said reaching into the hole, pulling out Catherine's old locket, handing it to Sara. "You can keep this."

Sara smiled, putting it in her pocket. "Are you two hungry?"

"Lindsay gave us breakfast in bed. I'm glad she came home," Madison replied.

"Yeah, that was nice," she said, putting the square back in place. "What should we do?"

"Can we plant those seeds for the flowers we got a few weeks ago?" Madison asked as Sara's cell rang.

"Sure. Hang on. Sidle."

"Hey, it's Nick. Just letting you know Lindsay's here. Wanted to check you knew."

"She was going to grab her phone," Sara said, heading inside to get the flower seeds.

"Ok. She's gone to speak to Archie. About what I don't know. Did you want me to let you know when she's on her way back?"

"Uh, sure. Thanks Nick," she said, hanging up and going back outside.

* * *

The twins kept Sara amused for the next few hours until Lindsay finally walked through the door.

Sara smiled. "Everything ok?"

"I got you a present. Well, it's sort of a family present."

"What is it?"

Lindsay sat on the bottom step. "Come here."

Sara walked over. "Yeah?"

Lindsay placed a silver plated photo album on her lap as the twins sat behind her. "Last night in Mom's office... I found that phone she lost a few weeks before... Anyway, Archie helped me charge and download the pictures," she smiled, slowly turning each page. There were various pictures of each of them with Catherine, ones of the kids and Sara and loads from their park and holiday adventures.

Sara smiled. "Wow."

"I thought we'd lost them forever."

"So did I."

Lindsay handed the album to Sara, indicating to the twins they should all go inside, and they quickly left the brunette alone.

Sara smiled, opening the album again.

The final picture was one of Catherine and Sara wrapped up in bed together under a thick blanket on a rainy day. The redhead wore her usual infectious smile, her head resting against Sara's.

Sara traced Catherine's face. "We miss you, Cath."

Catherine's voice seemed to ring clearly in her mind as she heard a soft 'I love you'.

Sara stood, taking the album back into the house, sitting on the couch.

The twins were talking softly in the corner of the living room and Lindsay had disappeared to her room.

A card lay on the living room table for a local scan clinic reading 'Thursday 4:30'.

Sara smiled, grabbing the card.

"Mommy, are you ok?" Madison asked.

She nodded, wiping her eyes. "Yes sweetie. Why?"

"You were crying."

"I'm ok," she assured. "Just thinking."

"About Mama?"

"Yeah."

"Well, we're still here."

"Yeah, I know," Sara said.

"You want us to go upstairs?"

"No. You guys are fine."

The both stood cuddling either side of Sara. "Lindsay went upstairs to lay down. She said she felt sick."

"Yeah, she hasn't been feeling good," Sara said, wrapping an arm around each of them.

* * *

**Reviews: helly1bradleywyatt &amp; katvrah**


	4. Brush

Never Wake

by: Liv-x-Case-Benson &amp; dcmasters

**Ch. 4: Brush**

The twins held her tightly staying silent, falling asleep an hour later.

Sara carried them upstairs, laying them in bed before checking on Lindsay.

Lindsay sat on her bed, laptop on her knees and headphones in, unable to hear Sara knocking.

Sara opened the door, walking in and tapping her arm.

Lindsay quickly shut her screen, taking her headphones out. "Hey."

"You okay?"

"Just feeling a little sick. I'll be ok," she smiled, shifting over.

"Need anything?"

Lindsay shook her head. The one thing she wanted right now she couldn't have. "I'm really sorry, Sara."

"Sorry? Why?" Sara asked, sitting beside her.

"I've been so horrible to you. Making you worry all the time."

"You're a teenager and, after what's happened, it's not unusual that you'd be a little rebellious."

"Mom would have grounded me for it and you know it."

"Yes, that's true, but you're supposed to be like that when you're a teenager."

"Will you come with me?"

"To your appointment?"

Lindsay shook her head. "The trial," she managed.

"Trial?"

"I need to testify. Against my rapist. They got him."

"That's good, right?"

"I guess."

Sara hugged her gently. "It'll be ok."

"Grandma's coming over to look after the twins soon."

The brunette nodded. "That's right. I work tonight..."

"Can I go with you?"

"Lindsay, you don't have any training or schooling. It's really not wise," Sara said.

Lindsay sighed. "Sorry."

Sara stood up. "I'll be right back," she said, going into her bedroom and digging in the back of the closet for the textbooks she'd kept to consult then just couldn't bring herself to throw away. Grabbing the box, she walked back into her room, setting it on the bed. "Here, for you."

"What's this?" she asked, looking inside.

"All my old books. They're not nearly as up-to-date as what's in now, but it'll give you the basics on what's what. I could see about getting the updated versions sometime."

Lindsay smiled. "Thanks. Not just for this."

Sara smiled. "Everything really will be ok. Hey, Linds, listen. Uh, wow this is hard, but sometime...a-and not that I'd ever try to replace her because it's just impossible, but well... Actually, I-I don't even know if I can do this, much less say it..."

"You need someone too."

"Yes, but..."

"You're seeing someone?"

"Well, no, but I think I know who I want to ask..."

"Who?"

"I work with her. She's pretty new. Her name is Julie Finlay. She took my office when I switched."

Lindsay gave a silent nod, thinking. "So she's like Mom?"

"A little, but she's not nearly into blood like that. I-I just figured I'd tell you first. This'll be new to me. I haven't dated in a really long time." Though, truth be told, at first she and Catherine hadn't "dated" as much as went to bed. Because..well, it'd been a while and they trusted each other and, after a rough case, that was always a relaxer.

"What about the twins? What will they think?"

Sara bit her lip. "That's the snag. I'll have to bring her around them A LOT before we - or I - say anything like that. I can't just say I'm dating someone. They're little. They'll think I'm trying to replace Catherine when that'll never be the case."

"I think you'll have more trouble with Mason than Mads. I'll help if I can."

Sara smiled, hugging her. "But don't say anything, ok? It's got to be going for a bit before... Anyway, I should get up and shower."

"Ok," Lindsay nodded, picking up one of the books to read.

The brunette went upstairs to shower and change before coming back down.

* * *

"Hey Sara," Finn smiled, walking into her office a few weeks later, "I need your help."

Sara stood up. "With?"

"That damn window in your old office keeps jamming. Any ideas?"

"I'll come take a look at it," she said, following her out.

"Thanks," she smiled, leading Sara through. "I tried getting onto the chair for leverage, but it still didn't work."

"You're trying to get it down?" she asked.

"It's so cold in here."

Sara handed Finn her jacket as she got up on the chair, pounding her fists on the top of the window, getting it down a few inches to where she wouldn't have to stand on it anymore, but going to move off, she turned wrong, sending her toward the concrete.

Finn quickly caught Sara, breaking her fall, her back hitting the ground hard. Her heart pounded as she attempted to catch her breath.

Sara wrapped an arm around her as her feet touched the floor, trying to get her breath. "Uh...thanks."

"Y-you're welcome," she managed, staring into Sara's brown orbs.

Before Sara even realized what she was doing, her lips crashed on Finn's. It was new territory, somewhat, but she knew, by now, if she didn't feel something, she wouldn't try. The kids still were her priority, but Catherine would want her to try to move on. Hell, five years was more than enough.

Stunned, Finn froze a moment before offering a soft kiss in return.

Sara blushed, pulling away. "Uh, so anyway..."

Finn tucked a piece of her blonde locks behind her ear, stepping back. "Yeah..."

Sara smiled. "Is that everything?"

"I think so."

Sara nodded. "If you need anymore help, let me know, ok?" In truth, most would apologize, but the brunette couldn't form the words. Because, as much as she didn't plan it, she wasn't sorry. It wasn't like Finn had pushed her away and told her off, but Sara had a feeling this would be much different than her previous relationship. She turned, closing the window and walking out.

Finn rested back against the wall, pressing two fingers to her lips remembering the kiss.

The brunette smirked to herself. Maybe little things would mean more right now. She sat back at her desk, going over evidence.

* * *

**Reviews: helly1bradleywyatt &amp; katvrah**


	5. Coffee and Appointments

Never Wake

by: Liv-x-Case-Benson &amp; dcmasters

**Ch. 5: Coffee and Appointments**

Finn passed Sara's office several hours later, but doubled back, knocking on the door.

"Come in."

Finn opened the door slightly, poking her head around the corner. "I'm making coffee, want one?"

Sara smiled, getting up. "Sure, I'd love one," she said, following her.

Finn poured two coffees, placing one in front of Sara. "So, uh... about earlier..."

Sara stood by the counter, taking a sip. "..Yeah. Look, I-I didn't plan that. I-it just...happened."

Finn nodded. "I believe you."

"And..if you're expecting me to apologize, honestly, I can't. I can't be sorry. All I know is, after so long, if I hadn't wanted it, my body wouldn't have moved. I know it's crazy..."

"If I thought you didn't mean or want it, I would never have kissed you back."

"That's fair, but I didn't mean to scare you if I did."

"Look, Sara, I... I've had my fair share of bad relationships. Hell, I've been married and divorced twice. I'm clearly not that great at it."

"Well, maybe you just found the wrong person, waiting for the right one. I'm not saying anything has to happen, but just please give it a little thought. For the record, you have soft lips," she smirked, carrying her coffee back to her office.

Finn bit her lip, smiling. Sara could certainly flirt. On her way back to her own office, she glanced through the window of the brunette's office, seeing the photos of the gorgeous redhead scattered around her office. She wasn't sure she could live up to everything Catherine had left behind.

Meanwhile, Sara went over fibers and bit of fiberglass in her lab a few hours later. She wondered though. Even if anything were to happen, she didn't know how she could handle it. She had pictures of her and Catherine and the kids everywhere. It would be quite a task. Though, IF they got that far, to be honest, her biggest worry - as everyone's was within the heat of passion - was calling out the wrong name. That she would never make up for, but it was a ways off yet. Very far.

"So, I've been thinking..." Finn said, bursting Sara's thought bubble as she walked in unexpectedly.

"Huh? Oh hi."

"Hi. I've been thinking about what you said... how about a drink? Say Friday?"

Sara looked up, surprised. "Sure. Sounds good," she said, smiling.

"Ok," she replied, tilting her head with her smile before leaving.

Sara pulled the analysis from the printer, smiling wider.

"You look happy," Lily smiled from the doorway.

"Uh...what's going on?"

"Don't worry, the kids are fine."

Sara smiled. "Come in. Then did you get bored?"

Lily walked in, closing the door over. "No, I wanted to talk to you about something Lindsay said."

Sara sat behind her desk. "Alright."

"She told me about Julie someone."

"Oh, Finn, yeah. What did she tell you? Do you disapprove or something? I mean, yeah it'll be a huge adjustment and that's only if things go well..."

"Sara, I haven't come here because I disapprove. I... Catherine would want you to be happy."

Sara sighed. "Thank you. It's just been so long, somewhat bored, mostly lonely. I..."

"We all need to be looked after."

"I know that. I know Lindsay is ok, but then, there's the twins, especially Mason. I-I just don't know. If things work out I don't even know how to bring it up."

"The kids will be ok with it eventually. Sure it'll take them a while, but sometimes you need to live for yourself."

"That's true and I think, for now, I should get to know her for...quite a while before anything. I mean, kids aren't great first date material."

Lily nodded. "I understand. I can look after the kids whenever you want."

Sara smiled. "Thank you. Oh, did you see what I got in the mail?" she said, showing her the ring and the card.

"Sara, it's beautiful."

"Yes it is. It's crazy that it was this far planned out."

"Not only did she love you, she adored you. Adored the kids. Sure, she had her job, but you were everything she lived for, and if there's one thing she wanted, it was for all of you to be happy."

Sara nodded. "I know and I hate to put pressure or expectation on, but, for some reason, I just can't help it... I-I know I really can't expect so much from nothing, but..."

Lily nodded. "Have you noticed Lindsay seems to be spending a lot of time in her room?"

"Well, I may have an answer to that, but it depends..."

"Which is?"

Sara smirked, going around to sit on the front of the desk. "Well, if the the test is like Lindsay thinks it could be, you may be become a great-grandparent, but that that depends on what Lindsay wants to do or even if it's true, so..."

"She's pregnant?!"

"Possibly. There...was an incident at a party. She's going to testify against him."

Lily sighed. "No wonder she's been going off the rails."

"I agree. And I will support her, no matter what she decides. The doctor will confirm it. She took a couple tests, but she'd rather have a doctor make the final call. She's already been to the team here, giving a statement and tested for infections and all that and evidence, which I applaud."

Lily kissed Sara's forehead. "I'll see you at home."

Sara smiled. "Hope they're being good."

"Always," she smiled, quickly leaving.

Sara sat back behind her desk.

The images of Catherine seemed to stare back at her. The auburn locks, her blue eyes, that smile...

Sara sighed, resting back in her chair and closing her eyes for a minute. She wasn't attempting to forget her wife. Ever. But it would be nice not to be so lonely.

* * *

A few days later, and with her pregnancy confirmed, Lindsay lay back nervously in the scan table looking to Sara.

Sara sat beside her, holding her hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Sick," she said, clutching Sara's hand.

Sara kissed her cheek. "It's going to be ok."

The young girl took a deep breath as the scan began. "Baby looks absolutely fine," she smiled. "You're measuring thirteen plus three days."

Sara held her gently. "Do you know what you want to do?"

Lindsay turned her head to finally look at the screen for a few minutes. "I want to keep it."

"Okay. If you're sure..."

"You don't think I should?"

Sara smiled. "I think you should do what you want."

"Even though what happened... it's still part of me too."

"Yes it is. And your mom's from you."

The doctor slipped from the room as Lindsay turned to Sara. "I always imagined she'd be here at my scan when I decided to have a baby. Crying her eyes out more than likely. As much as I miss her, I know she's watching over us making sure we're ok."

Sara smiled, hugging her. "She is. And we love you no matter what."

"I know. I love you too."

* * *

**Reviews: joann &amp; katvrah**


	6. First Date

Never Wake

by: Liv-x-Case-Benson &amp; dcmasters

**Ch. 6: First Date**

Finn nervously stood in the bar they'd agreed to meet in. She wore skinny jeans and a deep blue shirt to bring out her eyes, but now wondered if she was under dressed.

Sara walked in minutes later, dressed in a deep blue blouse and black slacks with heels, sneaking up behind Finn and resting a hand on her shoulder.

Finn spun around with a smile. "Hi. You look lovely."

"You look beautiful," Sara said, sitting at the bar. "Shall we?"

Finn blushed slightly, sitting next to her, ordering their drinks. "I need you to understand this is new territory for me... going on a date with a woman..."

Sara smiled. "That's completely fine. I'm not one to force my tongue down your throat, well, unless we were ever at that point. My point being that I'm happy you asked for this much and you're free to call the shots until you want me to."

The blonde nodded, relaxing. "It's been a while."

Sara nodded, sipping her drink. "Me too. I've just...well..."

Finn lay a hand over Sara's. "I may have only joined the team after you lost your wife, but I know what a legacy she left behind. It's ok to talk about her, and it's ok to want her to be here, just like it's ok to want to stop feeling so lonely in the world."

Sara nodded again, downing the rest of her drink, wiping her mouth. "Please, I know you're trying to help, but here isn't the place for this."

"Sorry. I tend to talk too much when I'm nervous," she smiled. "So, uh... you like baseball?"

"Somewhat. Why?" she asked, holding her hand.

"I'm a bit of a sports fan. Baseball's my thing."

Sara smirked. "You play?"

"I'm on a team, yeah."

"Maybe I could catch a practice sometime..." Her mind was already running through scenarios with one drink in her.

"We practice Wednesday's at seven and play Saturday's at one."

Sara smiled. "Sounds fun."

The blonde nodded. "Though I pretty much like all sports. What about you?"

Sara chewed on her lip. "I don't really do much outside of work and the kids take up so much of my time, but... I-no. I-I can't say this now. Even I know I shouldn't."

Finn smirked. For some reason she loved watching the brunette squirm. "No, go on."

"It's just...they can't give me everything. I need to take care of myself too. I love them, but it's so different. I guess I miss just having someone beside me at night when it's cold out or after a rough case to curl up to, you know? And, yes, I know by telling you this, I'm significantly reducing my chances at this happening again."

"Hey, I can do curling up."

"Well, that's a nice, comforting thought, but I'd prefer it was down the road when you were a bit more comfortable with all of this."

"I just meant don't rule it out. You think I don't know what it's like to feel lonely?"

"I-I never said that, but I guess I don't know you like that."

"Since I divorced my second husband... this is the first date I've been on in a long time."

"How long has it been?"

"A little over two years. In the past I've always rushed dating and marriage. I guess I've never taken the time to appreciate what the other person can offer other than in the bedroom. This time, I want to take things slowly. Get to know you."

Sara smiled. "Sounds good to me. I don't think I've been on a date since...long before I was married, so it's been a while."

"Tell me about the kids."

"Really? What do you want to know?"

"Yes, really," she smiled widely, "They're a big part of your life, there isn't any point trying to avoid bringing them up. That would make us both uncomfortable. Well, all I know from around the lab is you have three, so anything you like."

"Wow. Never thought I'd hear that. It's usually considered a date-killer," she said with a laugh, "but let's see. Lindsay's almost seventeen. She's from Catherine's first marriage and then there are the twins, Mason and Madison. They're seven now."

"Hey, I might not have kids, but it doesn't mean I didn't want them at some point," Finn smiled, nodding, "Sounds like a handful."

"Oh, they are. And, just recently, there is another thing, but I-I'd hate to scare you away on the first date, so..."

"No, it's ok, go on. Honesty is one thing I never had from the beginning in any relationship."

Sara bit her lip. "Well...ok. It's Lindsay. She's pregnant from an attack. Listen, I-I'm not trying to trap you into anything or make you feel like you have to do anything, but you said you wanted honesty and well, can't get more honest than that," she said, sipping from the drink the bartender had set in front of her.

Finn took a moment to digest the information, then sat forward, closer the the brunette. "Is she coping ok?"

Sara smiled, holding her hand a little tighter. "I-I guess so. I mean...damn, this isn't what I need right now," she said, wiping her eyes. "I-I'm sorry. It's just...it would be so much easier if the situation were reversed for this. I know she misses her."

Finn ran her thumb lightly over Sara's cheek, wiping away the residual tears. "Of course she misses her, especially now, but I'd say she's got the best parent she can given the circumstances."

She sighed. "Yes, but still..."

"You can't think like that. You'll make yourself sick with guilt, and that won't do anybody much good. Look, Sara, however this turns out... whether we date or we don't, if you need support or to talk, you only have to say."

Sara smiled. "Thank you. I-I thought I was feeling better obviously, but..."

"Are you hungry?"

"Yes. Why?"

"I could eat a burger and chips about now. Diner across the road?"

Sara nodded. "Sounds great," she said, linking her arm.

Finn smiled, walking Sara across the road. "Ah, that's much better. It's quieter for a start."

"Yes it is," she said, finding them a booth and sliding in.

Finn slid in the opposite side, taking Sara's hand across the table. "Have any questions for me?"

"Anything you want to tell me?"

"I've never dated anyone outside the police force. I like fantasy movies and right now, well, you look very beautiful."

Sara blushed deeply. "Thank you. I never really dated much either. This might be to early to ask, but... why don't you have any kids if you want them?"

Finn winced. "Want them, can't have them."

Sara nodded, squeezing her hand. "I'm sorry. I won't... do you like any other sports?"

"Apart from baseball, pretty much all of them. And, it's ok. I'm not sure that even if I could I would by now. My relationships have just never felt right."

"Oh, I was worried it might have been a medical problem, but, in reality, you still could. Never underestimate that."

"No, I... I can carry. And it is a medical problem, it's just... complicated."

Sara squeezed her hand. "Do you play any other sports?"

"Archery, sometimes. Tennis."

She smiled. "Maybe I could watch sometime. It'd do me a little good to actually interact with you instead of always being with the kids. I love them more than my own life, but I need some time for myself too."

"I understand," Finn smiled, squeezing Sara's hand, "And I totally understand if you need to cancel or leave at short notice for the kids."

Sara nodded. "I think a burger and fries sounds great too."

Finn quickly went to order, paying before sitting back down. Once they were finished eating, Finn smiled across at her. "It's getting late..."

"Is that an indication that you want go our separate ways? Or keep going?" she asked.

"I don't live far if you want to have coffee?"

Sara smiled. "Sure, let me just let Lily know," she said, calling her to say she didn't know exactly when she would be home.

* * *

Finn flicked the light on twenty minutes later, slipping her coat off. "Living room is first on the left, I'll just put the kettle on," she smiled, walking through to the kitchen.

The brunette nodded, slipping off her shoes and going to sit on the couch.

"So, now you know where I live," the blonde smiled, sitting opposite her.

"Nice place."

"Thanks. Sara..."

"Yeah? Something wrong?"

"I feel guilty."

"Guilty? Why?"

"I said about being honest and you were. I feel like I'm holding back about the baby thing."

"Holding back?"

"When I was younger, I got sick. They took eggs in case I ever wanted a baby, because my treatment would leave me infertile otherwise."

Sara moved closer, resting a hand on hers. "You don't have to tell me, but I am curious now."

"Chemo and radiotherapy. When I was nineteen."

She let out a breath. "Cancer. Wow. I-I mean..."

Finn shook her head. "Aside from my family, you're the only one I've ever told."

Sara hugged her tightly.

Finn held her close, turning her head to capture Sara's lips.

Sara kissed her softly. "It's ok if you're scared," she whispered.

"Of what?"

"Everything with...what could go on if there is more to us."

"I-I think I want there to be."

Sara nodded, smiling softly as she caressed Finn's cheek. "Then everything will be in your court. As long as you don't mind me doing this every once in a while when we're alone," she said, kissing her again, a little deeper.

A soft moan escaped the blonde's lips, kissing back without hesitation.

Sara nipped her lip gently, rubbing her back, moaning softly.

Finn deepened the kiss, pulling Sara closer.

Sara moaned, sliding her tongue across her lips.

Finn's lips instantly parted, allowing the brunette access.

Sara smiled, slipping her tongue inside. "Mmm..."

The blonde's tongue stroked Sara's lightly. "Ohh..."

Sara moaned, sucking on hers. "You can stop if you're too uncomfortable."

Finn pulled away. "It's not that I want to stop kissing you, I just don't want it to lead to more than that right now and I don't trust myself not to act on the way you're making me feel."

Sara nodded, hugging her tight. "Okay. That makes sense, but, whether you believe it or not, you really are very beautiful."

Finn blushed deeply. "As are you. You're an amazing, strong woman, Sara."

"I have to be. Is there really coffee?"

"Yes, sorry. I got distracted. I'll be right back," Finn smiled, rushing to the kitchen, needing to cool down. She didn't know another woman could make her feel so good. Five minutes later, she placed two mugs on the coffee table, retaking her earlier position on the couch. "There you go."

Sara smiled. "It's ok. Really," she said, taking a drink of coffee. "Thank you."

"Do you have to go any time soon?"

"No. Why?"

"Movie?"

Sara shrugged. "Sure. What do you have in mind?"

"I have a few comedy, some drama, but mostly fantasy."

"You can pick one."

"Hmm..." she said, standing. Having taken time to choose one, the blonde leant forward to place the disc in the player, a small amount of flowing script across her lower back poking out.

Sara smiled. "Tattoo?"

Finn turned with a nod, rejoining Sara on the couch. "I got it when I was younger."

"What does it say?"

Finn pulled up her top to show Sara the Latin phrase 'Perfer et obdura; dolor hic tibi proderit olim'. "More specifically I got it before I started treatment."

"What does it mean?"

"Be patient and tough; some day this pain will be useful to you."

Sara smiled, scooting closer to her and wrapping an arm around her. "And you are. Truly."

Finn kissed Sara's cheek with a smile, relaxing against her as her focus shifted to the movie.

Sara leaned into her. "Hate to bother, but movies are always better with popcorn."

Smirking, the blonde stood making a large bowl of popcorn that she knew they would never finish, handing it to Sara before sitting down. "Is this better?"

Sara smiled, snuggling into her. "Yes," she said, taking a handful.

* * *

When they'd finally put the bowl down, Finn entwined her fingers with the brunette's, running her thumb lightly over the back of Sara's hand.

Sara smiled wider, pulling her closer. "You ok?" she whispered.

She nodded. "Just thinking."

"Oh, about?"

"It's nice, isn't it? To suddenly not feel all alone in the world."

"Yes it is. Very nice," she said with a yawn.

Finn's arm moved around Sara's shoulders, pulling her closer. Dropping a kiss to the brunette's forehead, she grabbed the blanket draped over the back of the couch and placed it over them

Sara shrugged. "All right. The kids will be fine for a night," she whispered, cuddling into her as she fell asleep.

Finn smiled, turning the TV off, slowly falling asleep.

Sara held her tightly, kissing her cheek in her sleep.

* * *

**Reviews: joann &amp; helly1bradleywyatt**


	7. Common Ground

Never Wake

by: Liv-x-Case-Benson &amp; dcmasters

**Ch 7: Common Ground**

The blonde let out a content sigh, relaxing, sleeping through the night for the first time in years.

Sara stretched out, bringing Finn's head to her shoulder.

The blonde dropped the softest kiss to Sara's neck as she stirred.

Sara smiled as her eyes opened. "Hmm?"

Hearing Sara's voice, Finn's eyes flickered open, smiling up at her. "Morning."

"Morning," she said, kissing her softly. "How'd you sleep?"

"The best I have in a very long time. You?"

"Me too," she said.

"I'm glad," Finn smiled, kissing the brunette.

Sara kissed her deeply.

"Mmm," she moaned, pulling Sara closer.

Sara kissed her a little harder, her hands taking hers as she nearly sat in her lap.

Smirking to herself, Finn pulled Sara to her lap, wrapping her arms around her to keep the brunette secure as she returned the kiss.

Sara moaned deeply, slipping her tongue into her mouth, her hands going under Finn's shirt, moaning louder as she felt the warmth before slipping them out. "Warm..."

Finn's body shivered, pulling Sara's hands back under her top. "You can keep them there if you're cold."

Sara nodded, slipping her hands back under. "It feels really good to be this close to someone. After everything, I thought I'd never care like that about anyone else ever again, but... I know I'm wrong now. And I promise I will never force anything, but, God, I miss the closeness and warmth..."

Finn kissed her deeply. "I've always rushed in and done the intimate part first I want to take this slowly, give myself time to fall because of how I really feel about you. Right now, I'm happy in the knowledge I made you realize you could care again, however much restraint it's taking. And, for the record, I care about you, too."

Sara smiled. "I really hate to break this up, but my kids need attention, so I should really get home. I probably shouldn't ask this now, but would you like to come? Err...come with?"

"No, it's ok, I understand. Are you sure that would be ok?"

"Well, if you wanted to make sure I got home ok...?"

"I'll drive you," the blonde smiled, kissing Sara softly.

Sara smiled, hugging her tightly, intensifying it a bit, moaning.

"Tease," the blonde whispered. "Can you give me a few minutes to change?"

Sara smirked, caressing her cheek. "Of course."

Finn kissed her again, getting up to change, returning ten minutes later with black boots, skinny jeans and a red shirt. "Hi..."

Sara smiled, whistling lowly. "Hi. You ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Finn replied, holding out her hand.

* * *

Sara held her hand as they walked out of the house, giving her directions when they were in the car.

"Wow, nice place!" Finn replied a little shocked at the size.

Sara smiled. "Well, with three kids..." she said, getting out, "who wanted their own rooms, might I add. Besides, it's less hassle when they're older."

"Well, that's true. Am I staying here or...?"

"Want breakfast?" she asked. "I don't think they'll have a problem if I say I brought a friend for breakfast. Anything else right now...no."

"Sure," Finn smiled, stepping from the car, following her inside.

Sara unlocked the door, going upstairs to check on the kids. "Wait here."

Finn stood in the hall, waiting nervously.

"Mommy?" Madison smiled.

She smiled, kissing her cheek ad hugging her. "Hi sweetie. Good morning."

"Morning. Why didn't you come home last night?"

"I was with a friend from work. She's really nice."

Madison nodded. "I missed you," she said, standing.

"I missed you too. Do you want to meet her? She came for breakfast."

"Ok," Madison smiled. "Want me to get Mason up?"

"I'll go with you, ok?" she said, going over across the hall. Walking in, she sat on his bed, running her hand through his crimson locks.

Mason stirred, looking up at her. "Hi Mom."

She kissed his cheek. "Morning. How are you?"

"Ok," he shrugged.

"Hey, I brought a friend to have breakfast with us, is that ok? Her name is Finn. Well, Julie, but..."

"I guess so."

"Mason, are you ok?"

"I'm fine," he replied, getting up to walk into the hall.

Sara nodded, going out to knock on Lindsay's door.

Lindsay groaned. "Come in."

Sara slipped in, closing the door and walking over. "Bad night?" she asked, stroking her cheek.

Lindsay nodded. "I'll be down for breakfast in a few minutes."

Sara nodded. "By the way, that friend is joining us," she said, walking out. "Ready guys?" she asked the twins.

They nodded walking down with her.

"Hi," Finn smiled.

Madison smiled. "Hi."

Mason looked her up and down, shrugging. Meeting new people wasn't his best thing.

Sara wrapped an arm around him.

"..Hi," he finally offered.

Finn smiled again, following them into the kitchen.

As she went to sit down, Madison stopped her. "Don't sit there, Mason will cry. It's Mama's seat," she whispered.

The blonde smiled gratefully, choosing another seat. "You must be Lindsay," she smiled as the teenager entered.

Sara smiled. "Who wants pancakes?" she asked, draping her jacket over Catherine's seat.

"Me!" the twins shouted.

"Linds, pancakes or fruit and a drink for your stomach?" she asked,

"The latter please," she smiled, sitting next to Finn.

Sara nodded, mixing the batter for pancakes. "I bet Mason would like to hear about your sports," she whispered in Finn's ear.

"Do you like sports Mason?"

He smiled, nodding shyly. "I-I like baseball."

"Really? Me too! I play at weekends."

He smiled wider. "Really?"

Sara knew Mason would be the harder of the three kids for Finn to get close to, but... "Hey, maybe she'll help you with your batting."

"That I can do," she smiled, retrieving her bag pulling out some tickets. "You should come to the game today."

He nodded. "Can I go Mommy?"

Sara nodded. "Sure. We could all go and watch."

"There are enough tickets for all of you."

Sara smiled, handing Lindsay her drink and fruit. "Hey guys, I really am sorry about last night. Fell asleep watching a movie."

"It's ok," the twins replied at the same time as Lindsay smirked.

"Not a word," Sara threatened, setting a steaming pile of pancakes in the middle of the table along with fruit, syrup and whipped cream. She then grabbed plates, cutlery and juices with glasses, sitting down.

"Thanks for this. Just what I need before a big game," Finn smiled, helping herself after the twins.

"No problem. We generally have a big breakfast on weekends. There's more time," Sara smiled.

* * *

Once breakfast was over, and everyone was ready, Finn drove them to the ball park. "I'll see you guys later. Enjoy the game," she grinned, placing a team cap on Mason's head.

Sara smiled, getting out with them. "Okay, you guys need to be careful."

"We will," Mason smiled as Finn winked at Sara, walking in the team entrance.

Sara smirked. "Ok, how high up do we want to go?"

Mason walked carefully up the stairs picking a row nearer the back. "We can see everything here!"

Sara nodded, helping Madison up with the snacks and drinks.

The game commenced a short while later, Finn's team taking to the field first. The blonde looked focused, but spotted them, waving half way through.

Sara waved back, whistling.

Mason giggled at Sara, then cheered for Finn as she ran to catch the ball.

Sara smiled, handing Madison her drink.

"Thank you," she smiled, taking a large slurp through the straw.

"She's really good at catching," Mason said.

"Yes she is. We'll have to see how crowded it is after. Maybe she'll help you on the field," Sara said, though her mind was split between her kids and watching Finn in that uniform, wondering _exactly_ what was underneath.

Finn was the last to bat for her team and with the scores level, she needed a good hit to ensure at least one of their runners made it home. She suddenly felt pressured with Sara and the kids there, but tried to push it to the back of her mind. She approached the plate, focusing.

Sara smiled. "Come on, you've got this!"

"I thought you didn't like baseball?" Mason asked.

"I'm not much for sports, but it's different if you know the person playing."

As she finished her sentence, Finn's bat made solid contact with the ball. She threw the bat and her helmet to one side, running as the ball flew out of the park.

Sara grinned wider as they cheered, the kids louder of course.

Once Finn's foot hit the home plate the team surrounded her, cheering. When she managed to get out of it, she ran to the fence in front of where Sara and the kids were as the park emptied out. "Hey guys!"

"That was a great last hit!" Sara said.

Meanwhile, Mason was bouncing up and down. "Can you show me how to do that? Can you? Can you?"

"Thanks," Finn smiled. "Sure. Now?"

"Pleeeeeeeaaaaasssssse?!" he begged.

Sara laughed, walking them around to the entrance as the rest of the team left.

"Come on," she said, holding her hand out.

He nodded, holding her hand tightly.

"Hey, ok if we watch from the dugout since everyone left?" Sara asked.

"Yeah," Finn called over her shoulder, leading Mason up to the plate. She secured a helmet on his head, handing him a bat. "You ready?"

He nodded.

Sara led Madison over to the bench. "Having fun?"

"I can't remember when he smiled this much," Madison said quietly.

"I know. And I was really worried about all of this."

"Why?"

Sara bit her lip. "Well, because you might be seeing her a lot."

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"No, but maybe one day. I'm not trying to replace Mama in any way, but...I'm not lonely with her. I mean, I love you guys, but I need someone too. Do you understand?"

"Mama will always be Mama, but you need adult cuddles too?"

God, she hadn't heard that specific phrase in years. "Yes," Sara said, hugging her.

"Well, I guess it's ok because Mason likes her, and she's nice."

"Do you like her? It'll take a little bit to get used to everything and that's ok."

"Does she like girly things too?"

"Like what?"

"Clothes and stuff?"

"Yeah, but you should ask her."

Madison nodded, cuddling into Sara's side.

"Try it again, but this time be firm on your feet, don't try and swing too hard or slow, and don't be scared of the ball," Finn said. "Focus on the ball, ok?"

He nodded, planting his feet.

"Ready?"

"Yes!"

Finn took a moment before pitching the ball to him.

Taking a breath, Mason swung right before it hit him, hitting the ball hard, hearing it _crack_.

Finn looked up, her eyes following the ball above her head, looking back at Mason with a grin.

"I did it!" he yelled, jumping up into the air.

Sara smiled, carrying Madison out. "Hey, that was a great hit."

"You were amazing!" Finn smiled, joining them.

"Yeah you were. Should we head home?"

"Can we come back another time Mom?" he asked.

Sara smiled. "Of course we can."

"I'll get you guys season tickets, ok?"

"Yay!" Mason said.

"Hey, Mason, you want to take my bat and helmet back to the car whilst I grab the rest of my things?"

"Sure," he said.

Sara walked with them, helping them to get buckled in, getting in the passenger seat.

Finn started the car, glancing at Sara with a wary smile, unsure if she'd done ok. She wasn't used to having kids around.

Sara smiled widely. "It's fine."

Finn relaxed, looking into the mirror at Mason. "You should join my little league team."

"You have a team?!" he asked with so much enthusiasm, Sara wondered how the seat belt was containing him.

"Mhm. We train at four on Wednesday before I have training and play Sunday's."

"Can I join, please?"

Sara smiled. "We'll see ok? You can't neglect your schoolwork."

"I won't! I promise!" Mason grinned.

Finn caught the look on Madison's face, then focused back on the road. "Madison... I have a scarf that would go well with your complexion. I'll bring it next time I see you."

She smiled. "Really? I didn't know if you liked anything girly."

"I'm a girl, aren't I?"

"Well, yeah, but most girls who like sports don't like much other stuff like that."

"Then maybe we should go shopping sometime."

"Please!"

"Hey, wait, hang on! What about me!?" Sara playfully whined, smirking.

"Yeah..." she said, holding her hand.

Finn ran her thumb over the back of Sara's hand until they arrived back at their house. "I'll see you guys later."

Sara winked. "Wait here a minute," she whispered as she helped the kids out and into the house, then resumed her spot, pulling her close, kissing her, moaning softly.

Finn moaned gently, deepening their contact, running her fingers through Sara's locks.

Sara nipped her bottom lip. "Mmm...oh..."

"Mmm..." she moaned, pulling back, "Hey, Sara...'

"Yeah?"

Finn reached into her bag, pulling out a single key on a chain. "If you ever need me, I... don't feel you have to ask if it's ok."

The brunette nodded. "Ok," she said with a smile. "Is it wrong to say I'm going to dream about you in that uniform?"

"Well, that was the idea," Finn smirked.

"Oh really now?" she smirked. "You're evil. I haven't..."

"Haven't...?"

Sara blushed. "I-I haven't...not since Catherine... And I-I really-"

Finn kissed Sara hard. "Sleep well."

Sara kissed harder, biting her lip, but then pulled back. "Sleep? Ha-ha! With all this going through my brain?"

"You know where I am if you can't."

"Uh, trust me. That wouldn't be a good idea..."

"Call me."

Sara smiled, getting out and taking a few breaths before going back into the house.

"Wow, well done," Lindsay smiled, listening to Mason tell her all about the ball park.

"Yeah, he did very well," Sara said walking into the room.

"Went well then?" Lindsay asked as the twins went to play in the yard.

She smiled, sitting beside Lindsay. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. My stomach has settled now and I finally got some sleep."

"That's good. Do you need anything?"

"No, we're ok," Lindsay smiled, placing a hand on her stomach.

* * *

**Reviews: joann, helly1bradleywyatt &amp; katvrah**


	8. Opening Up

Never Wake

by: Liv-x-Case-Benson &amp; dcmasters

**Ch. 8: Opening Up**

Finn tried not to overstay her welcome over the next few months, and her relationship with Sara seemed to strengthen. Sitting at home one evening after a game, Finn couldn't clear her mind of the brunette. Picking up her phone, she sent Sara a text. _'Can you get away, babe? X'_

Sara smirked. _'Sure. Any reason why? How was your game? X'_

_'Game was fine. I'm lonely x'_

Sara stood up, knocking on Lindsay's door.

Lindsay opened the door a few seconds later. "Everything ok?"

"Fine. Wondered if you could watch the twins tonight? If you don't feel well, I'm sure your grandmother could come over."

"Have fun," Lindsay smirked, nodding.

"Sshhh," Sara smirked. "If anything major comes up, either call me or her. If it's serious, feel free to interrupt. We won't mind," she said, going to the bedroom to pack a bag with clothes and a few other items. Being as Finn had never experienced this "side", Sara figured she might require some different care. Saying goodnight, she left, arriving at Finn's ten minutes later, letting herself in and closing the door. "Finn?"

"Hi," she smiled from the top of the staircase, a silk robe tied around her frame.

Sara grinned. "Nice robe," she said, walking up to meet her, hugging her tightly. "Now, before I assume too much, Lindsay's watching the kids. If something major or serious comes up, she'll call me or Lily will." After that mini-speech, her lips crashed down on Finn's, rubbing her back, dropping her bag at her feet.

Finn moaned loudly, wrapping her arms around Sara's neck.

Sara smirked, pressing Finn back against the wall before stepping back and grabbing her bag. "Where to?"

Finn took Sara's hand, leading her to the bedroom.

In truth, the brunette was slightly nervous, but she knew it wouldn't last long. "How much are you trusting me with?" she asked, sitting on the bed.

"Everything," she replied softly.

"What's your number one no-touch? Like...I never have or will try anal. It's just not me."

"Same," Finn nodded.

Sara smirked, going into the bathroom with her bag, coming back a few minutes later in a red lacy set, dropping the bag by the door. "I figured you wouldn't want to waste time."

"Lucky I wore black," she smirked, shedding the robe.

Sara smiled, walking over and kissing her passionately, running her hand up and down her back.

Finn moaned, hands caressing Sara's sides. "You're so beautiful..."

"Mmm, so sexy," she moaned. "God you really are amazing."

"Your lips are soft..."

Sara smirked, her hands cupping the blonde's breasts, squeezing gently, moaning.

Finn tilted her head back a little with a moan, arching into Sara's touch.

Sara took the opportunity to kiss and suck on her neck, squeezing a bit harder.

"Yes..." she replied with a throaty moan.

Sara smirked, reaching behind her and unclasping Finn's bra slowly.

Finn's lips found Sara's neck, dragging her bottom lip gently over the skin as she nipped.

"Ohh..." she moaned, slipping the straps from the blonde's shoulders.

The blonde removed Sara's bra slowly, her lips crashing to the brunette's once more.

Sara fell back onto the bed, pulling Finn with her. "Oh God..."

Finn dragged her hand lightly over the brunette's left nipple, deepening the kiss.

Sara moaned, her hands tangling in Finn's hair. "Yes.. that's it..."

Finn moaned, rolling Sara's hardened peak between her thumb and finger.

Gasping, Sara arched up into her. "Mmm..."

"You like that, baby?"

"Yes, sooo much! A-are you sure y-you've n-never been with a w-woman before?" she gasped.

"I swear..."

Sara smiled, switching their positions and sucking on her left breast gently, moaning as she squeezed the other.

"Ohh..." the blonde moaned, taking a shaky breath.

Sara smirked, looking into her eyes, circling her peak with her tongue.

Finn felt her body weaken, not letting her eyes stray from Sara's. "God..."

Sara smiled, leaving that one for the other. "Like this, honey? Everything ok?"

"A-amazing," she replied, running her fingers through Sara's hair.

The brunette repeated the same actions, though nipping a bit. "Mmmm..."

"Oh, please..." she begged. The blonde had wanted this for so long, she could already feel herself dripping.

Sara smiled, lying beside her, pulling her close and stripping them both completely. She kissed her soundly, tapping her clit. "Mmm..."

Finn whimpered, eyes closing.

"Honey, look at me. It's ok," she said, stroking her cheek.

Finn opened her eyes with a smile "I'm ok, it just felt so good."

Sara smiled, kissing her deeply, slipping two fingers inside and groaning at the heat. "Oh God, baby..."

"Oh, yes..." she moaned, instantly moving against her.

Sara moved slowly so she could get used to it. "You feel even better than I dreamed you would," she whispered, moving faster before adding another.

"I do?" she smirked, moaning louder.

"Oh yeah..." she moaned, going faster. "You feel so amazing." Sara said pulling her closer.

Finn wrapped her leg around Sara's waist, rocking hard against her. "Shit!"

"Yes baby! That's it! But you know, I had other things to do to you in my dream."

Finn slowed considerably. "Mmm, like?"

"My lips...my tongue...and something else too. My favorite part was listening to you and how much you liked it."

Finn smirked. "I'm all yours."

"In that case..." Sara went harder.

"Oh, babe, yes!" the blonde moaned, trying to stay still.

Sara smirked, moving Finn on top of her, going harder. "Go ahead, baby. Ride me. But if you really want to, I have a better idea..."

"Anything. I trust you," Finn whispered, kissing the brunette gently.

Sara smirked, pulling her fingers out and sucking them clean before getting up and going into the bathroom, walking out with a strap-on securely in place.

"Mmm," Finn smirked, raising an eyebrow.

Sara pulled her up. "Do you want it? We don't have to."

"Yes," Finn replied, sucking Sara's bottom lip.

"How?" Sara moaned, pulling her close and squashing it between them.

The blonde moaned, feeling it pressed against her. "You're the boss..." she smirked.

Sara kissed her, laying her back on the bed, spreading her legs. "Ready?"

"Ready," she smiled, looking into Sara's eyes.

Slowly, Sara entered her with the tip.

Finn gasped, her eyes never leaving Sara's as she relaxed.

Sara went in a little more.

"Mmm, more..." she moaned.

Sara slid in halfway. "God you're just taking it..."

"Do you see now how you make me feel? Why I've had such a hard time resisting?"

"So much! And you feel so good! Do you want me all the way inside you?"

"Yes. I need it. I need to feel you."

The brunette leaned in, kissing her hard, thrusting in completely. "Oh..."

Finn suddenly gasped at the fullness, kissing Sara harder.

Sara moved hard inside her, moaning. "God baby..."

"Oh, Sara..." the blonde moaned. She couldn't deny how amazing it felt to have the brunette this close.

Sara pulled out, going back in slowly.

"Oh! Yes, harder baby!"

The brunette smirked, doing it again and again, harder each time.

Finn's legs wrapped around Sara's waist, her hand finding her lover's. She moved their hands above her head, firmly planted against the bed effectively pinning herself. "Fuck!"

Sara smirked, going harder. "God! Oh shit! Yes, oh yes!"

"So close..." she moaned loudly, fingers finding a small remote hooked to the harness. pressing the button causing it to vibrate against the brunette.

The brunette gasped, holding it tightly between them. "Oh Godddd... I-I can't... Oh! OH! FIIIIIIIIIIIIIINN!" she screamed, coming hard, leaking out of the harness. "Oh...God..."

Upon hearing the brunette cry out for her, the blonde suddenly tightened her grip on Sara's hand. "YES! SAAAARAAAAAAA!" she screamed, body shaking hard as she came.

Sara moaned loudly, still feeling the vibration. "Y-you need t-to turn it...of-OH GOD!" she screamed, coating her lover, and collapsing on top of her. "...shit..." she panted.

"Mmm," Finn smirked, quickly turning it off, holding Sara close, kissing her cheek. "You ok?"

"Mhm... Give me a minute a-and I can give you a little more..."

"You don't have to. Just relax sweetie."

Sara nodded. "You ok...?"

"More than ok. That was... you made me feel amazing."

Sara smiled, rolling off of her and detaching the toy, moaning as she licked it clean.

Finn bit her lip. "You're so sexy."

She kissed her deeply. "Mmm..."

"Something you want?" Finn moaned against her lips.

Sara nodded, kissing down her body to lick her clit.

Finn's eyes widened at the feeling, her fingers quickly tangling in Sara's hair. "Oh, fuck! Yes!"

Sara licked faster, being careful not to bite.

Within minutes the blonde's breath quickened, beginning to buck against Sara. This feeling, sensation, was something completely new to her. Nobody had previously done as Sara was now, and Finn couldn't deny it felt incredible.

Sara slowed her strokes, wanting to savor the feeling and taste, humming against her.

"Sara... oh honey..." Finn moaned, "Yes! Don't stop!"

Sara smirked, keeping the pace slow. "Mmm..."

"Ohh..." she moaned over and over, body starting to tense, finally giving in as she came harder than the first time, screaming somewhat incoherently, dripping.

Sara moaned deeply, cleaning her up, smiling as she laid next to her, pulling her close.

Finn pulled the covers around them, holding Sara tightly. "I've never... felt anything like that before."

Sara smiled, hugging her. "Really?"

"Yes," she nodded, "Sara..."

"Yes?"

Finn moved to look into her eyes. "I love you," she whispered. "I'm not expecting you to say it back if you're not ready or anything. I just need you to know how I feel."

She smiled. "You know what?"

"What?" Finn asked, kissing the end of Sara's nose as she often did.

Sara smirked. "I love you too."

The blonde grinned, kissing Sara gently as she entwined their legs. "Stay tonight?"

The brunette nodded. "Yes."

Finn pulled her closer, yawning as her eyes closed.

Sara smiled, pulling her as close as she could. "It feels so good to have you like this," she whispered.

Finn nodded. "Yes, it does," she agreed falling asleep with her arms tightly around the brunette.

Sara sighed, falling asleep soon after.

* * *

Finn woke early, smiling when she found the brunette still in her arms, watching her.

Sara woke half an hour later, snuggling her close. "Morning," she smiled.

"Good morning, beautiful," she whispered, with a tender kiss.

The brunette smiled, kissing her softly. "Mmm..."

"I'm glad you stayed."

Sara stroked her cheek. "Wouldn't have had it another way."

Finn smiled widely. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said, hugging her tightly. "What should we do now?"

"As in where do we go from here, or should we have breakfast?"

"How about both?"

"Breakfast, yes. And where would you like us to go?"

"I'd never thought that far ahead..."

Finn nodded. "No pressure, ok? Last night was my call, anything to do with you and the kids is yours."

Sara nodded. "Thank you. Now, not right away, but, someday, maybe I wouldn't have to leave the house for this with you... I mean, the kids love you, but I don't want to rush into that. And I guess I'm not sure how you'd feel."

"Having the kids around all the time would be a big step, and I wouldn't want to intrude permanently if it upset the kids. Plus, Lindsay's just in her third trimester, I don't want to upset her either. "

"Yeah, there's that too, but I'd miss you."

"And I'd miss you. It's going to get harder being apart from you."

Sara nodded. "I'll talk to them and, as for breakfast, I'm sure the kids wouldn't mind seeing you again as long as you don't mind," she said, kissing her deeply.

"I could never mind," she moaned.

Sara nipped her lip. "Mmm. But before we leave...I'm not usually an early morning person for this, but there's something I really want to do."

"Anything..." Finn whispered.

The brunette pushed the covers off of them, licking her clit before moving her leg, grinding against her, moaning softly.

"Oh babe..." Finn moaned, looking up at her.

Sara smiled, locking their eyes, going faster.

Finn began moving against her, feeling the brunette's wetness against her causing her moans to become louder.

Sara leaned down, kissing her deeply, going faster. "Oh...come on... Mmm... yes. So sexy..."

"Shit... you feel so good..." Finn groaned, raking her nails over Sara's back, "Yes..."

She smirked, she went harder. "Really? How good baby?" she moaned. "Tell me. Tell me what's going through that mind of yours."

"You look so beautiful. I can't stop thinking about last night. You, going harder and harder inside me," Finn replied, her back arching, "Fuck!"

Sara moaned loudly. "You liked...that huh? M-maybe I'll give you another so you don't...forget," she said. "Oh... so good baby. God, come on! Come for me! Cover me." Sara surprised herself with the request. She'd never asked anyone to cover her, seeming more of a male move, but... God Finn was amazing.

Finn's breath suddenly caught in her throat. "YES! SARAAAAAAA!" she screamed coming hard as she coated the brunette.

"OH FUCK! YESSSSSSSSSSSS FIIIIIIIIINN!" she screamed, drowning her, blushing furiously as she felt it, hiding her face in her neck.

Finn turned her head slightly, inhaling the scent of Sara's hair. "So sexy."

Sara smiled a small smile as her blush went down. "I-I've never asked anyone to cover me before," she whispered. "It just came out."

Finn tilted Sara's face to kiss her. "I liked it."

Sara kissed her. "More or wait for later?"

"Later, or I'll never let you leave."

* * *

**Reviews: katvrah**


	9. Changes

Never Wake

by: Liv-x-Case-Benson &amp; dcmasters

**Ch. 9: Changes**

A week later, they'd had a particularly rough case that had everyone on edge and Sara wishing she could spend some personal time with the blonde.

Finn had been out at a scene all shift, and didn't return until ten minutes before it was due to finish. "Anyone seen Sara?"

"In her office," Greg said.

"Thanks," Finn smiled, slipping into the locker room before knocking on the brunette's door.

"Come in."

Finn smiled as she entered, locking the door behind her. With the blinds already down, she approached Sara, kissing her deeply. "Hi babe."

"Mmm hi. How was your scene?"

"Bloody," she replied, pulling Sara up to hold her close.

Sara wrapped her arms around her. "Are you ok?"

"I've barely seen you all week what with the twins' school play and Lindsay's appointments. I miss you."

"I miss you too. Something you want?"

"Is it that obvious?" she blushed.

She smiled. "What and where?"

"Here and now."

Sara smirked, unbuttoning Finn's top, sliding it from her shoulders.

Finn pulled Sara's top over her head, nipping her neck. "Mmm..."

The brunette moaned, quickly shedding her bra and kissing her smooth skin.

"God, I've missed this," Finn said softly, running her hand through Sara's hair.

"Me too," Sara moaned, sucking on her right breast, squeezing the other.

A low moan escaped Finn's lips, unclasping the brunette's bra, removing it quickly, hands moving to Sara's trouser zipper, sliding it down.

"What _exactly_ are you aiming for?" she asked with a raised brow.

"That depends how quiet you can be."

"Me?"

Finn nodded with a smirk.

Sara nodded. "Can I sit back down?"

Finn moved several files from Sara's desk to the floor. "Sure," she said, lifting her onto the desk with a passionate kiss.

Sara moaned, squeezing the blonde's chest.

"Mmm..." Finn smirked, nipping and sucking below the brunette's ear.

"Mmm..."

Finn stripped Sara of her jeans and underwear, running a finger gently over her clit.

Sara gasped.

"Babe..." she moaned, feeling her wetness.

Sara smiled. "Yes?"

"You're so wet..." she breathed by her ear, sucking the lobe.

"I-I should be..." she whispered. "God you feel good!"

"Close your eyes..."

"Okay," she said, closing them.

Finn stepped from her own trousers, spreading Sara's legs wider. Taking the brunette's left nipple in her mouth, she allowed the tip of the toy she wore inside her.

Sara gasped, biting her lip as she attempted not to scream. "W-wait...please."

Finn stopped, stroking Sara's cheek. "I'm sorry. Are you ok?"

Sara opened her eyes. "Y-yes, but please...please don't. I-it reminds me of..." She was trying to keep the memories at bay, but it broke as her tears cascaded. "I-I'm sorry, ok? I w-want to..."

Finn pulled away, shedding the toy and harness. Sitting in the desk chair, she pulled Sara into her lap holding her tightly. "Shh, it's ok. Let it out."

Sara held her tightly, trying to calm down. "I'm sorry..."

"No, I should have thought. Don't be sorry," she whispered, rubbing Sara's back. "How about I drive you home?"

Sara nodded, shakily pulling her clothes back on. "Just to be clear, I do love it. I just need a bit more time. I know it sounds crazy after ten years, but..."

"No. It sounds absolutely normal," Finn replied, redressing. "I can go home if you want time or stay a while. It's your choice, I mean, the kids will be waking up."

"Will you stay?"

"Whatever you want," she smiled, kissing Sara's cheek.

"I'm going to want that sometime, I promise."

"It's not important. You, however, are very important."

Sara smiled. "It was a considerate thought. I just need to wrap my head around everything."

"You really don't need to explain," Finn smiled, leading them out to the car, "Shall I follow, or drive us both?"

"You can drive us both," she said, getting in the passenger side.

Finn took Sara's hand as she drove, humming to the music.

Sara smiled, wider, curling up in the seat.

"I can sort the kids' breakfast if you want to sleep when we get in?"

Sara nodded, walking in and going up to bed.

Finn took a deep breath, walking into Mason's room. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she hesitated before stroking his forehead. "Mason..." she whispered.

He rolled over. "Finn?"

"Hey buddy. Mommy's tired so I said I'd get you up for breakfast so she can go to bed."

He smiled, hugging her.

Finn held him tightly, not accustomed to hugs from the boy unless they were at a game and won. "You ok?"

Mason nodded. "Missed you."

Finn felt her heart swell a little, kissing his forehead. "I missed you too. It seems like so long since I've seen you."

"Finn!" Madison squealed happily, crawling into her lap, hugging her. "Is Mommy sleeping?"

"Hey," she smiled, holding her securely. "She is. I was going to make you guys breakfast."

"Can we have waffles?" she asked.

"Sure. That ok with you Mason?"

He nodded. "Okay."

"I know it's still early, but we could watch a movie after breakfast? I don't want to wake Lindsay so early."

"Sure."

"Right, come on then," she smiled, taking their hands. As soon as breakfast was done, she got them to pick a movie, sitting on the couch with a thick blanket and lots of cushions.

* * *

An hour or so later, someone shook the brunette's shoulder. Sara groaned, sitting up and seeing Lindsay. "Hey, something wrong or just not feeling good?"

"I just wanted to hear your voice."

"Come sit," she said, scooting over. "Feeling ok?"

Lindsay got in beside her, laying her head on the brunette's shoulder. "I'm scared."

Sara wrapped her arms around her. "Of this?"

Lindsay nodded. "It seems to be going so fast now."

"The end is usually fast or slow. Your mom always told me she wished it would've lasted longer. She just loved being pregnant apparently. Feeling them move and knowing they were there."

"She moves all the time now," Lindsay smiled, her voice changing to a whisper. "Sara, I'm so glad you're here."

"Why?"

"Because you've always stuck by me, even when I've been a brat, or caused you so much worry and pain. I feel so selfish sometimes, wanting Mom back when you're just as amazing as she ever was. I just want you to know I feel so lucky to have you around. I couldn't have coped with all this if it wasn't for you. I love you, Mom."

Sara smiled, hugging her tightly. "I love you too."

Lindsay smiled, placing Sara's hand on her stomach when the baby gave a strong kick, smirking. "She says love you too, Grandma."

Sara kissed her cheek. "And I bet she'll be beautiful just like you."

"You've gone all soppy in your old age."

She laughed, playfully hitting her arm. "My priorities have drastically changed."

Lindsay gave a soft laugh. "Can you hear the twins' favorite movie?"

"Mhm, Finn brought me home and offered to get them breakfast because I was pretty tired when we got back."

"Have you asked her to move in yet?"

"I've...seriously thought about it, but..."

"But what?"

"It just seems crazy. But all of the things with your mom, I never thought I'd ever care about someone again. I know she won't take her place, but..."

"You're not betraying her, Sara, in the same way you're not replacing her. You're... healing. Choosing to be happy again."

Sara sighed. "I know, but it still feels like it."

"As much as it hurts to think about, Mom's not here anymore. But Finn is, and until she showed up, well... it had been a long time since we all saw you smile this much."

"I know. Are you hungry?"

"We're starving."

Sara stood. "Come on."

Downstairs, Finn, now warm from the heat of the the twins either side of her, was fast asleep.

The brunette smiled, walking over behind Finn, kissing her.

The blonde stirred, her eyelids flickering. "Hi."

"I have a question to ask you," she whispered.

"Oh?"

Sara smiled. "Mhm."

"Back in a minute you two," she said softly, slipping into the hall with Sara, suddenly feeling nervous. "What is it?"

Sara hugged her tightly. "It's ok. It's just...I don't like being away from you and so...I wondered if you wanted to move in with us?"

Finn looked a little shocked, especially after earlier. "I... I'd love to," she grinned, kissing Sara deeply.

"Mmm. I came to realize, yes, Catherine gave me so much and she is still here, but she would want me to be happy, taken care of and the kids just adore you. I don't think I would ask if they didn't. I want you with us."

Finn's eyes filled with tears, pulling Sara into a tight hug.

Sara smiled, hugging her. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"I know earlier was...awkward, but I really haven't been with someone since her. That was why it got to me."

"I told you, you don't need to explain. I'll never be her, and I'd never want to replace her. I understand she'll always be a big part of this home, and that's exactly as it should be."

Sara smiled, walking back into the living room. "Guys, Finn's going to move in."

"So we can see her all the time?" Mason asked.

"Yeah."

"Cool!" they smiled as Finn rejoined them on the couch.

Sara walked into the kitchen, finding Lindsay at the table. "Hey."

"Hey. I warmed you some waffles that Finn made."

Sara nodded, sitting at the table. "Thank you. Okay, now I have something to ask you. Are you planning on staying with us? If so we may need to look for another house. I mean, I love this place, but your little girl isn't always going to want to stay in your room."

"Y-you want to sell the house?"

"Of course I don't. Relax. It's just a question. Maybe not right away, but it may get a little cramped when time goes on."

"But all the memories. If we get a new house..."

"Linds, the memories are in here," Sara said, lying a hand over her heart, then sighed, "but, yeah, I understand what you mean."

"And, when you both want some more space, my place is paid for..." Finn offered softly from the doorway.

"What do you mean?"

"Sara asked me to move in. I... I'm not going to be needing my place and the mortgage is paid, so when you're older and you and your daughter need space... my place is yours. If you want it, that is."

Lindsay smiled. "I'll think about it."

"That's why I even suggested that. I mean, somewhere down the road, you'll want your own life, a relationship. And...well, bringing them home here might be a breaker and I would hate for that to happen," Sara said.

Lindsay nodded. "Sorry, hormones."

"Don't worry," the brunette said, taking another bite.

Finn watched them a little nervously. Sure, they got on, but she'd spent much more time with the twins.

"You can sit down if you want," Sara said.

Finn shook her head disappearing out to the car, returning with a gift bag a few minutes later. "I... this is for you," she said, handing it to Lindsay.

"For me?" she asked, opening it.

Finn nodded. Inside the bag, there was a large box of caramel soft centers, Lindsay's latest craving. Under a layer of tissue paper beneath the box was a soft pale pink baby blanket.

Lindsay smiled, standing up and hugging her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Finn smiled, returning the hug before sitting next to Sara.

Sara smirked. "You know, Linds, maybe I should arrange for the three of us to have a spa day. The kids could go to grandma's. I still remember the place your mom and I went to. They have pregnancy packages by request."

"I'd like that," Lindsay smiled.

Finn's head found Sara's shoulder.

Sara smiled, running her fingers through Finn's blonde locks. "I can try to set it up soon. You ok, baby?"

"Sleepy."

"Want to go up to bed?"

Finn shook her head. "It's ok."

"You sure?"

The blonde nodded, getting up to check on the twins. "You two ok?" she asked, sitting down again.

Mason nodded. "Will you help me practice?"

"Sure," she smiled.

"Can I come watch?" Madison asked.

"You want to field?"

"Yes."

Sara walked out. "We can be your cheering squad," she said as Lindsay appeared behind her.

"Come on, then."

The brunette smiled as she sat on the porch with Lindsay.

"You two ready?"

The twins nodded.

Finn focused, pitching to Mason.

Mason planted his feet, hitting the ball with steady force.

Madison ran, catching it in her glove, throwing it back to Finn. "Great catch!"

She grinned.

Sara smiled at them. "They're really getting along."

Lindsay nodded. "It's nice to see. It's good for them."

"Yes it is. Great hit Mason!"

Mason grinned back at her, waving.

Sara waved back.

Finn smirked at Sara before pitching again.

Sara smiled, stretching out.

They played a while longer, and as Finn grew increasingly tired, she lost concentration. Mason gave the ball a hard hit and the blonde moved to catch it, but the ball caught her eye and sent her to the ground.

"Finn!" Sara yelled, running over. "Hey, are you ok, baby? Come on, let's go inside and put some ice on that. Madison, Mason, grab the ball and gear and come inside, ok?" she asked, helping Finn inside to the kitchen, sitting her at the table, quickly getting her a bag of ice for her shiner.

"Thanks," she smiled, holding the ice to her eye.

"You ok?"

"I'm fine, honey."

Sara kissed her head. "Must've been some hit."

"He did learn from the best," she smirked.

"True. Need anything else?"

"Just the bathroom," she smiled.

Sara smiled, getting up and making a drink for Lindsay and tea for herself and Finn, taking Lindsay her drink.

Finn took a sip, then disappeared upstairs.

Lindsay looked up at Sara guiltily, closing the box of half eaten chocolates.

"Oh, it's ok. Keep eating. Here, something to drink," she said, handing the drink to her.

"She looks tired."

"I know. She needs to sleep."

"She won't," Lindsay stated, shrugging.

"You ok if I go check on her?"

"I'll keep an eye on the twins."

Sara smiled, going upstairs.

Finn walked from the bathroom with a wide yawn.

"Baby, you really should sleep. You look exhausted."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

Finn sighed. "I... I feel awkward."

"Awkward?"

Finn pulled Sara into the bedroom, closing the door. "I don't want to rock the boat, make people uncomfortable, by sleeping on her side."

Sara hugged her. "You won't. But if it makes you feel too weird, I can switch. I don't mind. I love you. Or if you wanted to get a new bed...or we could swap this one for yours..."

"It's not the bed, just the side. Would you switch? Even just for a while?"

"Of course. Anything else?"

Finn nodded, taking her hand. "Stay."

Sara nodded. "Where?"

Finn got into the side she knew was Sara's, laying down. "Right here."

Sara smiled, sliding into bed next to her, pulling her close, kissing her deeply.

Finn moaned, returning the kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too. I'm regretting not doing that earlier now."

"Doing what?"

"In my office," she smirked.

Finn smirked. "Sleepy."

Sara nodded, rubbing her back. "Then sleep."

Finn unbuttoned her shirt, pulling the brunette's arms around her tightly. "I love you," she whispered.

The brunette smirked. "Sshh, I'll help you sleep," she said, shedding Finn's shirt, kissing her neck softly.

Finn relaxed. "Mmm..."

Sara snuggled her close. "Sleep baby."

Finn was asleep within seconds.

The brunette smiled, sleeping ten minutes later.

* * *

**Reviews: katvrah**


	10. Easing Worry

Never Wake

by: Liv-x-Case-Benson &amp; dcmasters

**Ch. 10: Easing Worry**

They slept for hours, Finn mumbling incoherently as she woke.

Sara woke as she heard Finn mumbling, kissing her softly.

"Hi," she whispered.

"Hi, you ok?" she asked, stroking her hair.

Finn nodded. "Are you?"

"Mhm.. God, we slept for seven hours straight!"

"Seven hours? Damn!" she said, quickly standing to dress.

"What?"

"I have an appointment in half an hour. I need to go, babe," the blonde replied, buttoning her skirt.

Sara sat up. "Appointment?"

"My three year check."

"Do you want support?"

"Really?"

Sara nodded, changing quickly. "Sure. I mean, it's not anything little."

"Thanks," the blonde smiled.

She nodded, combing her hair.

Finn ran her fingers through her own. "Will the kids be ok?"

"Yeah, they'll be fine," she said. "Lindsay, we have somewhere we need to be. It shouldn't take long."

"Ok," she nodded. "Can you pick me up some ice cream?"

"Sure. What kind?"

"Strawberry, please."

"Okay."

* * *

Finn quickly drove to the hospital, taking Sara's hand when they called her through.

Sara held her hand tightly as they walked back.

Finn's consultant smiled at Sara. "You're new."

"I'm here for moral support. My name is Sara."

"She's my girlfriend," Finn supplied.

"Well, it's nice to meet you. Take a seat."

Sara smiled, sitting down.

Finn moved to the couch, unbuttoning her shirt and removing her bra before laying down. The doctor examined her neck, armpits, breasts and groin for any sign of lumps before she redressed and sat next to Sara. "How recent is that bruise?"

"Oh. She and my son were playing baseball earlier and he really hit the ball. It's about seven hours," Sara said.

"Then I'm not worried," the doctor smiled, drawing some blood. "These will come back normal, I'm sure of it."

Sara smiled. "Great."

"I'll call with the results."

The brunette nodded.

"Here," the doctor said as they stood to leave, handing Sara a leaflet, "Because she's far too stubborn to tell you the warning signs of recurrence. Just in case, but I'll doubt you'll ever need it."

"Thank you."

Finn hugged Sara's arm as they walked out into the cool evening air. "It'll soon be Christmas."

Sara smiled, hugging her. "Anything special you want to do?"

"Being with you and the kids is more than enough."

Sara nodded. "Any special present you want?"

She shook her head. "I lucked out when I got you."

Sara smiled widely. "Aww, that's sweet! I have a request: how about a nice night in a hotel with room service away from the kids? Not on Christmas, but close to it."

Finn rubbed her cold nose against Sara's, dropping a soft kiss to her lips. "Sounds wonderful."

Sara nodded, turning up the heat a bit. "And, of course, there's always exploring the bedroom..." she said, stopping by the store. "Did you want to come in?"

"Think I'll stay here and get warm if that's ok?"

"Okay," she said, getting out and going inside, coming out ten minutes later with a bag, putting it in the backseat, getting in.

Finn leant across to kiss Sara deeply.

"Mmm... God, you're good at that."

"Thank you," Finn smirked, curling up in the seat.

* * *

Sara smiled as she pulled up to the house. "Anything you'd like to do?"

"I don't mind."

"Movie?" she said as she stepped from the car.

"Sure," Finn smiled, following her inside.

Sara nodded. "Pick one. I'll make popcorn," she said going into the kitchen.

Finn smiled, putting a disc into the player, relaxing back against the couch.

Sara returned a few minutes later with a big bowl as she sat next to her girlfriend.

Finn kissed her cheek, pressing play.

The brunette smiled, taking a handful of popcorn.

Finn's head moved to Sara's shoulder as they watched and, when the bowl of popcorn was moved aside, the blonde entwined their fingers with a soft sigh.

Sara smiled, kissing her softly.

Finn moaned quietly into Sara's mouth, pulling the brunette to lay on top of her.

Sara moaned softly, laying them both on the couch.

"I'm so lucky," she whispered.

"Lucky?"

"Look at you. You're so beautiful."

"Me? Nah. You on the other hand..." Sara smiled, kissing her.

The blonde ran her fingers through Sara's hair, returning the kiss.

"Mmm..."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Giving me the family I thought I'd never have, allowing me to be part of your lives and trusting me with your heart."

Sara smiled, snuggling into her. "I still think it's amazing that I mentioned the kids on the first date and you didn't run," she said with a small laugh.

"I'm not like other people," Finn smiled.

"I love you."

"Not as much as I love you," she smirked.

"Mom!" Mason called.

Sara stood, walking up to his room, going in. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"How long is Finn staying for?"

"Forever. Why?"

He shook his head, curling up in bed.

Sara sat on his bed. "What's wrong? She's never going to replace Mama, baby. She doesn't want to. She understands how special Mama will always be to us."

"I know."

"Then what's wrong?" she asked, pulling him into her lap.

"What if she leaves us too?"

"No one knows exactly what will happen, but IF by God that ever does, you'll have one more guardian angel keeping you safe, just like Mama is." It was easier to explain it this way than to wrap her head around the reality of what he was saying. Sara never wanted that to happen again and she'd do everything in her power to prevent it.

Mason finally nodded, hugging Sara tightly. "Is Finn busy?"

"I don't think so. Do you want to go down and see her?"

Mason nodded quickly.

Sara picked him up, carrying him downstairs.

Finn was now sat up, still watching the movie. "Hey champ," she smiled upon seeing him.

Sara smiled, sitting him down.

Finn looked surprised when he cuddled into her side. "Everything ok?"

Sara sighed. "He's scared something bad's going to happen to you," she said, sitting beside her.

Finn kissed his forehead. "Nothing is going to happen to me. We have too much baseball to play."

"But what if it does?"

"Then I want you to know I love you very much," she whispered by his ear.

Mason smiled, hugging her tightly.

Finn gave Sara a soft smile. "Why don't we have dinner? Afterwards I could tuck you in?"

"I'll wake the girls."

"Madison's playing in her room."

Sara smiled, kissing them both and going up to get Madison and Lindsay.

Finn and Mason started to make dinner. The blonde had put a chair by the work surface so he could help. "Ok, do you want cheese on your pasta?"

"Yes please."

Sara knocked on Lindsay's door as Madison went downstairs. "Are you hungry?"

"No," she said, quickly shutting her laptop.

"Want a drink?"

Lindsay shook her head. "I'm ok."

"If you need anything, let us know," Sara said, going downstairs.

"Mommy," Madison said, taking her hand. "Finn says you have to sit down and let us do the cooking because you need to relax sometimes."

Sara smiled. "Ok."

Madison set the table and Mason helped Finn. They all sat down to eat twenty minutes later. "I hope you like it," the blonde smiled, sitting next to Mason.

Sara smirked, taking a bite.

"I put the cheese on!" Mason grinned proudly.

"You two did a great job."

Mason smiled, kissing Finn's cheek.

Sara smiled wider.

"If Finn is staying, can we still have time together?" Madison asked.

"Yes we can."

"So, we can go shopping tomorrow?"

"Sure."

Finn took a bowl of food up to Lindsay. "I know you're probably not hungry, but just in case," she said, placing the plate on the bedside table.

She nodded. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Finn smiled, kissing Lindsay's forehead before making a quick exit. It had been such a natural thing, but now the blonde wasn't sure how the kiss to the teenager's head was received.

Sara met her in the hallway. "Everything ok?"

Finn nodded. "I gave Lindsay a plate of food, said she didn't have to eat it if she wasn't hungry."

She nodded, kissing her softly.

"What was that for?"

"Loving the kids as much as I do," Sara said, wrapping her arms around her, trailing her neck softly.

"They're great kids," Finn managed to say before a moan escaped.

She smiled, pulling away. "Should we watch a movie then put them to bed when they fall asleep?"

"Sounds great," Finn smiled.

Sara nodded. "I wouldn't be opposed to continuing the other day..."

"Let's see how quickly they fall asleep," Finn smirked, taking Sara's hand. "Who's for a big bowl of popcorn and a movie?"

"Me, me!" the twins said.

"Upstairs and change into your pjs then pick one," Finn replied, pulling Sara close as they ran from the room, "Babe..."

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too. Can I ask you something? You're free to say no outright."

"Of course."

"Would you ever consider having a baby? I-I mean, I know we have our hands full..."

"Yeah, when things are settled."

"Can you?"

"I'd need to speak to my specialist, but yes, I can carry, just maybe not a baby that's biologically mine."

Sara nodded. "I-I mean as much as I know we'll have enough on our plates, I just thought I would ask. I don't know if I want to share you, but if you really want to..." She sighed.

"What's wrong?"

She sighed again. "I-I know I just asked, but I don't know if I want any more. I'll be happy no matter what, but... I'm sorry," Sara said, getting up and going into the bedroom, grabbing the picture of her, Catherine and the kids and laying down.

Finn sighed, putting on a smile when the kids came down, settling down with them on the couch. She couldn't concentrate, her mind filled with thoughts of Sara. This wasn't exactly the picture she had in her mind of what her first day living with them would be like.

Sara waked back down ten minutes later, sitting in her girlfriend's lap, cuddling into her.

Finn held her tightly, kissing the brunette's cheek. "Our family is just perfect as it is," she whispered.

"Yeah. Just...you said you'd wanted one at some point. I want you to be happy."

"I am happy," she smiled.

Sara smiled back.

"Are you ok, Mommy?" Mason asked with a frown.

"Yeah, just tired."

"I should get some more of my things..." Finn said softly.

"Tomorrow."

The blonde nodded, not speaking again until the movie finished. "Which one do you want?" she whispered, looking between the sleeping twins.

"You pick," she whispered.

"I promised I'd tuck Mason in," she replied, standing with Sara, scooping the boy into her arms, walking upstairs.

Sara followed, carrying Madison upstairs and tucking her into bed.

Finn stroked his cheek from a moment, making sure he was tucked in. "Goodnight, sweet dreams," she whispered, slowly walking from the room.

Sara waited in the hallway for her.

Finn smiled softly at Sara. "He's sound asleep."

The brunette smiled. "So is she," she said, carrying Finn back to the bedroom and locking the door, kissing her hard. "Mmm..."

Finn kissed Sara deeply, moaning.

Sara sat Finn on her feet, backing her against the wall. kissing harder, moaning.

The blonde's kiss was urgent, nails already clawing Sara's lower back.

Sara hissed against her. "Still wearing it?"

"I may have slipped it back on after dinner..."

Sara smirked, rubbing the toy under Finn's jeans hard. "Ohh...so sexy baby..."

Finn moaned. "You like that?"

"Mhm... Will you let me suck on you, baby? Get you nice and wet?" she whispered in her ear.

Finn groaned. "Mhm..." she managed weakly.

Sara ripped Finn's shirt off of her, sliding her jeans down, rubbing her underwear, groaning in her ear.

"Oh babe..."

"Do you like this, baby?" she asked, stripping her girlfriend of her last piece of clothing, stroking the fake cock up and down.

"Yes. I want you to suck it."

Sara smirked. "Would you rather stand or sit?"

"Sit. That way I can watch you strip first," the blonde smirked, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

Sara nodded, stripping her shirt slowly, throwing it at her.

Finn caught it, moaning.

Smiling, she unhooked her bra, shedding it and throwing it in the same direction before turning around to shed her pants and boxers, giving Finn a fabulous view.

"God, you're so sexy..." Finn moaned, "Here. Now."

Sara spun around, walking over and dropping to her knees, swirling her tongue around the tip.

"Mmm, yes," the blonde smirked, tangling her fingers in Sara's hair.

The brunette smiled, taking it halfway with a moan.

"Oh, you like that? You like making me all wet?"

"Mhm..." she moaned, going up and down.

"Mmm, that's it. Make me nice and wet baby," Finn moaned.

Sara moved faster, making sure she hit her clit.

Finn gasped. "Shit!"

The brunette smirked, trapping Finn's hands underneath hers on her thighs as she went faster.

"Sara..." Finn moaned loudly, hips beginning to buck.

Sara went harder and harder.

The blonde breath quickened, scratching her own thighs as she came. "SARAAAAAA!"

Sara pressed Finn onto her back, slipping her tongue inside as the harness rested just above her clit.

"Oh god..." she whimpered, body still shaking.

Sara smiled, going in and out. "Mmm..."

Finn ground slowly against her tongue, soft moans continuing to escape her mouth. "Sara... oh, please..."

Sara pulled away. "Do you want me to ride you, baby or finishing eating?" she asked with a devilish smirk.

"Ride me baby. Please. I need you. I need to touch you."

Smiling, Sara lowered herself onto the wet toy with a _squeak_, moaning. "Oh God..."

"Hi..." Finn smirked, running her hands down the brunette's sides.

"Hi..." she moaned, riding her slowly.

"You feel so good," Finn moaned, slowly thrusting her hips upward.

"Oh..God...so do you! Please! More! Harder!" she moaned, going a little faster.

The blonde smirked, thrusting harder each time, reaching up to squeeze her lover's breasts.

Sara moaned deeply, meeting her thrusts. "Oh yes...yes..."

Finn increased speed, her thumbs running lightly over the hardened buds. "I love you," she moaned, watching the brunette.

"I-I love you too," she moaned. "Y-you feel amazing..."

"So do you, and you look so sexy," Finn moaned, her breath quickening.

Sara moaned, changing the angle as she leaned down to kiss her. "Did you like it when I was sucking on you?" she whispered her her ear.

"Very much," she moaned, weakly.

Sara pulled herself away, then nearly slammed down onto it. "Then don't you want to come for me again, huh baby?" she moaned.

"Fuck! Yes!" Finn nearly screamed, hips bucking wildly, nearly at the edge.

"Oh, oh god! Yes baby! Fuck! Harder! I-I need to come..."

"YES! S-SAAAAARAAAAA!" the blonde screamed, hips bucking harder as she came.

"Oh, OH, OHH YESS, FIIIIIIIINN!" Sara screamed, coming all over her.

Finn caught Sara, laying the brunette on top of her with a soft kiss.

Sara moaned, laying on top of her. "Mmm... I love you, my baby... Is it..ok for me to finish my meal?" she asked, blushing.

"Mhm," Finn smirked at the blushing brunette.

Sara moved off of her, detaching the toy and sitting between her legs, she leaned down resuming her treat slowly.

Finn gave a steady, long, low moan. "Is that good, baby?"

"Mhm...so good."

"You're so amazing."

Sara went faster.

"Yes! Baby, I d-don't think I can w-wait..."

Sara nipped her clit.

"FUCK!" she screamed, coming hard, dripping down her thighs.

Sara moaned, drinking her up, cleaning her up.

The blonde slowly caught her breath, pulling Sara up into her arms.

Sara smiled, wrapping her arms around her. "You know, I really should've mentioned this before, but Lindsay kinda wanted a home-birth with a midwife. We already have the spare room set up."

"She does? Why?"

"Closer to her mother. That's how Cath had the twins too. We even have the same midwife."

"That makes sense. Am I to keep the twins occupied or are they going to their Gran's?"

"Oh no, they'll be leaving. They'll put too much stress on her if they stay."

Finn nodded. "And my job?"

"Either supplies or support."

"Whatever she needs," Finn nodded, "If she wants me out of the way, I understand."

"Yeah. Tr-" _CRASH!_ Sara shot up, throwing her clothes back on. "What the hell was that?"

* * *

**Reviews: katvrah**


	11. Emily

Never Wake

by: Liv-x-Case-Benson

**Ch. 11: Emily**

Finn quickly dressed, following Sara out. "Shall I take the twins or Lindsay?"

"Hang on. First, I should see what's going on," Sara said, going to see what had happened.

Finn quickly followed her, piece in her hand.

Sara checked on the twins first, who were still fast asleep. "Good," she whispered. Hearing noise from Lindsay's door. "Linds, you ok?"

Lindsay gave a groan from the floor.

Sara walked in, turning on the light and sitting next to her. "Lindsay?"

Finn ran to place her piece back on the high shelf in the wardrobe, grabbing her phone.

"I thought it was just practice contractions..."

"You thought...? What makes you think it's not?" Sara asked, helping her sit on her bed.

"Stronger. Every ten minutes. I'm only thirty-five weeks."

Sara nodded, helping Lindsay to her feet and into the bed in the spare room, grabbing her phone to call the midwife and Lily to grab the twins. "It's going to be just fine, sweetie."

"Anything I can do?" Finn asked from the door way.

"We need towels and a bowl of water. Lily and the midwife should be here soon."

Finn nodded, disappearing again.

"Promise she'll be ok?" Lindsay asked, looking scared.

Sara smiled, kissing her head. "She'll be fine. Beautiful just like Mommy."

Lindsay smiled, taking Sara's hand.

Finn placed the towels and water by the bed. "I'll let everyone in."

"Thank you, baby."

Finn nodded, touching Lindsay's shoulder gently as she walked out, closing the door.

"You won't leave, will you?" the teenager asked Sara.

"Never. I'm staying right here," she said, kissing her cheek. "Just like your mom is."

Lindsay nodded, hugging Sara tightly.

Finn let the midwife in, who rushed up to Lindsay and gave Lily a soft smile when she arrived. "Hi. I'll wake the twins..." she said nervously.

Sara stood. "I'll be right back. Lily? Are you alright?"

"Fine. How's Lindsay doing?"

"She's doing ok. I should get back," the brunette said, going back to Lindsay's side. She wet a rag, wringing it out and wiping her face.

"It could be a while yet," the midwife supplied, checking her medical bag.

"I wouldn't be surprised," the brunette said as Finn joined them. "The kids leave ok?"

"Yes," she nodded. "Anything else you need?"

"I think we're good. Unless Lindsay needs something."

"No, I'm ok," Lindsay smiled, taking Sara's hand as another contraction came.

Sara held her hand. "It's going to be fine."

* * *

Six hours later, the contractions were much closer and Lindsay was nearly fully dilated. "Make it stop! I'm too tired!"

"I know you're tired and it hurts, but your little girl will be here soon. Just think of how it will feel to hold her and see her for the first time."

"What if she looks like him?" Lindsay asked, the first time she'd mentioned anything like that.

"She could look like you or your mom," Sara said.

Lindsay gave a slow nod. "Ok," she said, trying to concentrate.

The brunette leaned against Finn, hiding her nerves. Well, trying to.

Finn dropped a kiss to the brunette's head, unsure she was being much use to anyone just sat there.

Sara leaned into her, shaking a bit. Like Lindsay, she'd imagined something similar to this with Lindsay, but with Catherine beside her. She sucked every doubt, every bit of pain in. She had to be strong for her.

"I love you," Finn whispered by her ear, rubbing her back.

"I love you too."

"I think we're ready to push," the midwife smiled.

Sara nodded, sitting beside Lindsay. "Do you want me sitting behind you?"

"I-I don't know..."

She nodded again, wiping the sweat from the teen's brow. "Everything's going to be fine. We're all right here with you."

Lindsay nodded, squeezing Sara's hand as she began pushing with her next contraction.

Sara wrapped one arm around her shoulders, holding her hand with the other. "You're doing so amazing, honey. We love you so much!"

Lindsay gritted her teeth, pushing as hard as she could until the midwife told her to stop, the head delivered. The young teenager's body shook. "I can't... I want Mom," she sobbed.

Sara sat behind her, holding her close. "I know. I do too. I can't begin to imagine how hard this is without her. But I promised you everything would be okay and it will. I'm here and your mom will never leave your side. You can do this. I know neither of us are her, but we love you and we'll do whatever we have to to prove it."

Lindsay leant back against Sara taking in her words as the midwife whispered to Finn. The blonde gave a nod, moving up to Lindsay, taking her free hand. "Lindsay, I need you to listen to me... you need to push now, need to be strong for your baby like your mother would be for you," she said softly, moving their hands to Lindsay's chest. "Sara's right, your Mom is with you. She'll never leave your heart, and right now, I think she'd be making you focus. Your little girl has crimson locks, sweetheart. She's right here. Now, push."

Sara smiled. "Then guess who she'll probably look like with those crimson locks? Honey, she's so close. Let us be your support and help you. Crying isn't a weakness, It's ok."

Lindsay steadied her breathing, squeezing both their hands tightly as she managed a final, big push.

"There we go," the midwife smiled, checking the girl over, who gave a loud cry.

Sara smiled, kissing her cheek. "You did wonderful. And I'm sure she- Whoa! Ok, tell me I'm not the only one who sees...that!" she said, pointing to the corner of the room. In the moonlight, she could swear she saw Catherine. Her red hair, eyes, in the same clothes as that night. She was transparent, smiling at them. She looked like she wanted to say something, but couldn't speak.

Lindsay and Finn both looked in the same direction as Sara.

"I love you too," she smiled as the image slowly disappeared.

The midwife placed the girl on Lindsay's chest. "Hey. I'm your Mommy," she whispered.

Sara gently stroked the baby's cheek.

The baby calmed causing Lindsay to smile. "Think she likes Grandma already."

"Maybe. What's her name?"

"Emily Catherine Willows," she replied softly.

"It's perfect. Everything okay here?" Sara asked the midwife.

"Mom and baby are just fine."

"Good. Thank you for everything."

"My pleasure," she smiled. The midwife checked them over a final time an hour later before leaving them. Finn slipped from the room to see her out.

Sara smiled. "She's beautiful, Linds."

"Yes, she is," Lindsay smiled, "You want to hold her?"

"Sure. Come here, sweetheart."

Lindsay smiled, watching as Emily took Sara's finger in her hand.

Sara cuddled her close. "Hi baby girl."

"I'm really tired," Lindsay said, rolling onto her side.

Sara stood, pulling the cradle close and laying Emily in it. "You should be, sweetie. It's a huge ordeal," she said, stroking her cheek. "Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep?"

Lindsay shook her head. "I'll just watch Emily a while."

The brunette nodded, hugging her gently. "Get some rest. We love you and I'm sure your mom was so proud of you, just like we are."

"I know," Lindsay nodded, "I love you guys too."

"If you need us, just say. The twins are out until sometime tomorrow."

"I will," Lindsay smiled.

In their bedroom, Finn sat, thinking.

Finn kissed Sara gently. "Why don't you try and sleep a while?"

"What about you?"

"I'll stay with you."

Sara stripped quickly, pulling on a long nightshirt and laying in bed.

Finn changed, getting in a few minutes later, pulling the brunette close.

"Are you ok?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you were sitting in here alone."

"I've never seen a birth before. I was just having a few minutes."

"You don't feel sick do you?"

"Sick? No."

"Then what?"

"It was just a bit surreal. Come on, sleep."

Sara nodded, exhausted and fell asleep fast.

Finn gave a soft sigh. In truth, it had all been a bit much to take in. Not just the birth, but everything since Sara had asked her to move in. And now, the moonlight shone through the small gap in the curtains, sending a soft beam of light across the room, lighting up a picture of Catherine which Finn couldn't shift her eyes from.

Sara rolled over a little while later, seeing Finn was awake. "What's wrong?"

Finn looked at the brunette, giving a soft smile. "Nothing," she replied, kissing her forehead, "Go back to sleep."

Sara shook her head, sitting up and placing the picture of Catherine back on the dresser.

"You don't have to do that."

Sara sighed, not seeming to hear her as she stared at the photo in the moonlight. "It wasn't fair, was it?" she whispered. "It really should've been me."

"No," Finn said, sitting up to wrap her arms around Sara, "don't you _ever_ say that."

She sighed, leaning back against her. "I'm glad it wasn't, but... I guess it's hard to accept it still."

"I know," the blonde replied, kissing Sara's cheek, moving them to the middle of the bed, leaning back against the headboard. "Tell me about her."

Sara shook her head, cuddling into her lap.

"I don't mind."

"I know, but I want to try to get back to sleep."

Finn kissed her gently, pulling the blanket around them. "I'm here. I'm not letting you go."

Sara nodded, kissing her cheek.

Finn stroked her hair gently, tightening her hold.

She smiled, her head in Finn's neck. "This was my favorite spot with her too. Safe..." she yawned.

"You'll always be safe with me around."

Sara nodded, relaxing.

Finn relaxed enough to sleep lightly, making sure Sara was ok.

Sara smiled, falling asleep minutes later.

* * *

Finn opened her eyes several hours later when she felt Sara stir, kissing her gently. "Hi baby."

Sara smiled, turning in her arms. "Morning. How'd you sleep?"

"Fine. You?"

"I'm ok, I guess, after last night. It was kinda crazy."

"Yes, it was. How long have you got off work?"

"Off work?" Sara asked, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. "I've got no idea. I didn't even call. Why?"

"I just assumed you'd be taking some leave to help Lindsay."

"I will," she said yawning as she stood. "I should check on them, or we should if you want."

"It's ok. You go."

"How about breakfast?" she asked as she walked into the guest bedroom.

Lindsay looked up from where she was nursing Emily. "Sounds good to me. We finally got this feeding thing figured out."

Sara smiled, walking closer. "The night go okay?"

Lindsay nodded. "She's a quiet one."

"That's good," she said, sitting beside them. "You're so amazing, little Emily," she whispered.

"I know I'm young, but I'm so glad I decided to keep her."

Sara smiled, hugging them. "Age doesn't matter. If you have the right support, anything is possible."

Lindsay smiled. "Thank you for always being here."

"That's my job. Do you want to burp her, lay her down and come downstairs?"

"Sure. Did you two sleep ok?"

Sara nodded. "Yeah we did."

"And Finn's ok? I feel kinda bad. I kept talking about Mom, and... I'd hate to have upset her."

"She's fine. She keeps encouraging me to talk about her, but it's just too painful..."

Lindsay squeezed Sara's hand. "I'll be down soon."

Sara smiled, going back to Finn. "Morning sexy."

Finn wrapped her arms around her lover. "Good morning."

The brunette leaned into her, kissing her softly. "Should we make a big breakfast for everyone? I'll have Lily bring the twins back so they can join us."

"Sounds great. How are they this morning?"

"Lindsay finally got the feeding down. They're ok."

Finn nodded, stepping back to pull on some clothes. "Call Lily then grab a quick shower. I'll make breakfast for everyone."

Sara smiled, hugging her tightly. "You sure you're ok helping Linds? You know you don't have to."

"What do you mean by I don't have to?"

"I mean...if you'd rather not help us, as much as it might hurt, y-you can l..." she looked away.

"I said I'd always be here, and I meant for all of you."

"Why though? I-I get upset over Catherine all the time. Lindsay's child isn't your grandkid. The twins love you... I love you, but... Even though I'm trying to move on, why does nothing seem right?!"

"Because I'll never be her, and I'll never live up to her."

"But I love you for you."

"I know. But I'm still not the one thing you'll always want more than anything."

Sara sighed. "But, in a way, that can never change. The only thing I do know is that I hadn't been happy in a long time before you. Look, I know you're not her, but, in a way, me being happy after all that, you're better than her and I don't ever want you to leave. Yes I miss my wife and I'm always going to miss her, but I'm always going to love you," she said, slipping a ring into her hand. "I promise to never make you feel like you don't belong here. It's not an engagement ring. Though maybe some day... It's a promise."

Finn kissed her gently. "Thank you. I'll be downstairs when you're ready," she said softly, going to prepare breakfast.

She smiled, calling Lily before stepping into the shower.

Finn sighed as she prepared breakfast. In truth, she felt more than inadequate, and whichever context Sara had meant it in, Emily wasn't her grandchild. And somehow she couldn't shake the guilt that had been slowly eating away at her.

Sara walked down showered and dressed fifteen minutes later. "Hi."

"Hi. Breakfast is nearly done."

"Smells great."

Finn smiled, dropping a kiss to Sara's cheek. "How long will they be?"

"Fifteen minutes."

Finn nodded, busying herself setting the table, insisting Sara sat down to relax. As she placed the last item on the table, there was a knock at the door. "Great timing, it's just ready," Finn smiled, opening the door.

"Hi guys!" Sara said.

"Is she cute? Can we see her!?" Madison asked, running up to hug her mother.

"After breakfast ok? Eat first."

She nodded, running through to the kitchen as Lindsay joined them at the table. The kids kept asking their sister questions as Finn picked at her food.

Sara held her hand under the table.

Finn smiled softly at her and when everyone went upstairs after breakfast, she slipped outside, sitting on the porch.

The brunette followed. "I-I'm sorry if I said something wrong."

Finn shook her head. "You should be inside with them."

Sara shook her head. "I'd rather be here. What's the matter?"

"I'm just being stupid."

"Talk to me."

"You're right. Emily will never be my grandkid, and when you asked if I wanted kids and I said yes, you hesitated and ran away. You wouldn't have done that if I was Catherine. And everyday there's always something, some little thing that I wish I could help with, wish I could stop you or the kids from hurting, but I'm not her. And it makes me feel guilty."

"But it's going to hurt to some degree for a long time. I'm sorry I ran away. I just always thought that we might have another. You shouldn't feel guilty for making us happy, Finn. It's something we need. Something you need. You can help us just by being here. And...I am sorry for running away. If it's something that you really want, I'll support you. Because I love you. I can't say I wouldn't like another for certain. I just thought that dream was over, until you."

Tears flowed down the blonde's cheeks at rapid pace as she rested her head against Sara's shoulder.

Sara held her tightly. "I love you for you. I never thought I could be happy again."

"I'd swap if I could."

"No. I'm glad you're here."

"But if the cancer had killed me there would still be room for her."

Sara pulled her into her lap. "And I would never think I could love or deserve to be loved after. It wouldn't change how things were before. Please don't think like that, ok?" she asked, holding her. "I never want to go through that again! Please!"

Finn nodded slowly, kissing Sara. "Ok. I'm sorry."

Sara nodded. "I love you and that's what matters, right?"

"I love you too, Sara, so much."

"You are so amazing, kind, sweet, understanding, nice and, incredibly hot and sexy," she said in her ear.

A smile pulled to the blonde's lips. "We should go inside."

Sara stood, holding her hand.

Finn walked in slowly with her. Everyone had relocated with Emily to the living room. "She's so tiny," Finn whispered.

Sara smiled. "She really is. And beautiful."

"Very. The twins seem to like her too."

"Can we hold her, Linds?"

"Sure," Lindsay smiled, kissing Emily's forehead before handing her to Sara.

"Sit in the chair and I'll sit in your lap," Sara told the blonde. "Hi sweetheart. You're so sweet. Hey, it's ok. You're ok. Shhh. We know you can't understand this, but we know you're protected very well. You're grandma won't let anything hurt you," she said, cuddling her close.

Finn smiled at Sara, sitting in the armchair seconds later. "Ready when you are."

Sara backed up, sitting in her lap, kissing Emily's head.

Finn kissed Sara's cheek, watching Emily. She slowly reached out to stroke the baby's hand with her finger. "Hi Emily."

Emily opened her eyes wide, looking at her. "Do you like her, huh? She's nice, isn't she? Yes."

"You're very beautiful, just like your mother."

Sara smiled. "She's so amazing, isn't she? This could be us, you know?" she whispered. "If you really want."

Finn nodded. "When the time is right for all of us."

The brunette nodded.

* * *

A/N: I know, I KNOW! It's been FOREVER since I updated this story, but it's just one of those stories that I just kept writing on and not posting.

Anyway, hope you enjoy!


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